Did someone say grand opening? Why yes they did. To be specific, Chairman Miscavige of the People’s Committee for Grand Openings of Already Opened Buildings will be re-grand-opening AOLA and ASHO! The […]
Did Someone Say Grand Opening?
The Hidden SP on COB’s Lines Found
“A recent OSA investigation has determined that Lee Baca, the former Sheriff of Los Angeles County, was the hidden SP on COB’s lines,” Church spokesman Ken Delusion solemnly announced to local newspaper […]
Church of Scientology to Implant Members
“As part of GAT II, COB RTC David Miscavige has ordered all Church of Scientology parishioners to be implanted with a special RFID (NSA grade) chip that will track their movements and […]
No You May Not Have a Copy of Your SP Declare
We in RTC are often badgered by bitter defrocked apostates for actual paper copies of their goldenrod declares. This will never happen so don’t even ask. We in RTC know the cunning […]
Church of Scientology Facing Critical Situations in South Africa
“The Church of Scientology faces critical situations in South Africa,” Church spokesman Ken Delusion announced today at a news conference. “As a result of these these very critical situations,” Delusion commented, “”COB […]
The Future of the Scientology Tent in Clearwater, Florida
COB RTC David Miscavige’s giant circus tent has served its epic, incredible, and planetary-changing destiny as the launching pad of GAT II. GAT II is now in highest ever affluence and is […]
Captain David Miscavige Targets SINO’s!
SINO! The mere sound of this filthy word brings a sneer to Captain Miscavige’s face. “Scientologists In Name Only disgust me,” Captain Miscavige said. “These people pay lip service to the Church […]
RTC RED ALERT: NO SOCIAL MEDIA ON SUPER POWER & GAT II
We in RTC have issued a Red Alert in this sector of the universe. SOCIAL MEDIA BLACKOUT DECLARED! NO SCIENTOLOGIST IS TO POST ANYTHING ABOUT SUPER POWER AND GAT II FOR THE […]
Scientology and Post Apocalyptic SP’s!
During his inspection tour today to find out why Flag Land Base failed to launch Super Power and GAT II, COB RTC David Miscavige pointed out that having the Tech housed safely […]
Captain David Miscavige: Batten Down the Hatches!
The Church of Scientology has sailed straight into Typhoon Monique! Accordingly, Captain David Miscavige has ordered the crew to batten down the hatches. In order to prepare his ship for the typhoon, […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 