Church of Scientology Media Relations VP Ken Delusion confirmed today that Scientology ecclesiastical leader David Miscavige has hired Jared Fogle to be a spokesman for the Church’s new Scientology Media Productions unit. […]
Flush from his historic and triumphal Papal visit to Oildale, Scientology Pontiff David Miscavige today ate breakfast with the common people at an IHOP in Fresno, California. “Pope Miscavige is working hard […]
Paramedics were called today when the Church of Scientology experienced a violent public outburst followed by a massive panic attack brought on by HBO’s Going Clear winning three Emmy’s. “The rageaholic 65-year-old […]
“And now you know the rest of the story.” explained Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Project Mouse Table was needed for COB to actually write down the numbers involved in OTIX and OTX, […]
His Imperial Holiness and Grand Dragon of the Seven Spheres David Miscavige has ordered Donald Trump and Megyn Kelly to appear at Scientology’s Flag Land Base for a major ethics handling. “Donald […]
In global ecclesiastical news today, Vatican spokesman Bishop. M. Plant announced that Starbucks has been selected at the official coffee kiosk of St. Peters. “The new Starbucks is now open in the […]
“While it is true that former Speaker of the House Denny Hastert was a Scientologist who received hundreds of hours of Scientology auditing in the 1970’s,” said Church spokesman Ken Delusion, “it […]
“Destined to become the definitive text for global ecclesiastical leaders everywhere, Captain David Miscavige’s The Art of Ecclesiastical Stage Design: A Study in Scientology Understatement offers vital data on how to drain […]
“What was needed,” said Church spokesman Comrade Dr. Frank Wonderman, “was a tough new Watch Dog Committee (WDC) Chairman to smash in ethics on Scientologists.” “Accordingly, the Board of Directors has appointed […]
“The time is now people,” said Thetan Commander Tom Cruise of Scientology Zeta RTC Corps VIII. “Scientology is under attack by the Marcabian Implanter Forces of A&E and its Scientology and the […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 