Thanks to the miracles wrought by COB RTC David Miscavige in GAT II, people can now go Clear at Flag with complete certainty. This was not possible in the past and that […]
You Can Now Go Clear at Flag with Complete Certainty!
Church of Scientology Prepares to Launch Super Power and GAT II
Talk about Excitement! There is literally electricity in the air here at Flag Land Base as we prepare to implant blow people fifty feet out of their heads! We in RTC have […]
New RTC Ecclesiastical Ruling: IAS Patron Status and Bridge Progress Invalid at Death
In a new ecclesiastical ruling handed down today from the Church of Scientology’s spiritual headquarters in Hemet, His Holiness Pope Miscavige, the leader of the Scientology religion, decreed that a Scientologist’s IAS […]
We in RTC to Mike Rinder: You Can’t “Schedule” Historical World Changing Events!
Mike Rinder is a bitter defrocked apostate who use to work for the Church of Scientology. We in RTC don’t know what Mr. Rinder did for the Church as we have nothing, […]
COB RTC David Miscavige Declares all Scientology Parishioners “Super Power Completions!”
Thanks to the superhuman efforts of Church of Scientology parishioners everywhere, COB RTC David Miscavige today declared Super Power a done. This is amazing news! In a statement from an undisclosed location, […]
David Miscavige and We in RTC “SHOCKED” by Church of Scientology Behavior!
Mr. David Miscavige and we in RTC were shocked, SHOCKED we say, to read of the Church of Scientology candidly admitting to such a wildly outlandish and stupid undertaking as the Squirrel […]
Captain David Miscavige: Batten Down the Hatches!
The Church of Scientology has sailed straight into Typhoon Monique! Accordingly, Captain David Miscavige has ordered the crew to batten down the hatches. In order to prepare his ship for the typhoon, […]
Will You Be the Next Mrs. Tom Cruise?
Now it can be revealed: The real purpose of COB’s giant circus tent at Flag Land Base in Clearwater is to host COB’s Beauty Contest. Once crowned, the winner will immediately marry […]
Church of Scientology Declares the Internet to be “Just Another Fad!”
Scientology haters post their meaningless drivel each day on equally meaningless wog hater message boards that exist only to attack the Church of Scientology and its leader Mr. David Miscavige. These wog […]
Internet Reputation Management Firm to Help Church of Scientology’s Reputation!
Crisis management expert Mike Sitrick is just one man, and a wog at that. Mike cannot possibly do enough to help stop the “Onslaught of Entheta” being directed at the Church of […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 