Talk about Excitement! There is literally electricity in the air here at Flag Land Base as we prepare to implant blow people fifty feet out of their heads! We in RTC have […]
Church of Scientology Prepares to Launch Super Power and GAT II
Launch of Super Power and GAT II to be World’s First “On the Cans Only” Event!
After months of extensive preparation, we in RTC can now announce that next week’s launch of Super Power and GAT II will be the world’s first “On the Cans Only” event. Each […]
We in RTC to Mike Rinder: You Can’t “Schedule” Historical World Changing Events!
Mike Rinder is a bitter defrocked apostate who use to work for the Church of Scientology. We in RTC don’t know what Mr. Rinder did for the Church as we have nothing, […]
COB RTC David Miscavige Declares all Scientology Parishioners “Super Power Completions!”
Thanks to the superhuman efforts of Church of Scientology parishioners everywhere, COB RTC David Miscavige today declared Super Power a done. This is amazing news! In a statement from an undisclosed location, […]
Scientology Leader David Miscavige Declares France a Suppressive Nation!
We in RTC received the news that the Wog High Court of France has found the Church of Scientology guilty of fraud. We were not surprised as France is quite insane and […]
Church of Scientology Not In Big Trouble. Everything is Fine. Thank You for Asking.
Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion today hotly denied, “the allegations that COB RTC David Miscavige is a ‘paranoid and deeply disturbed individual’ who is in deep legal trouble.” “We in the […]
Scientology: Global Red Alert!
Fleet Admiral David Miscavige has declared a global red alert for all Scientology sectors following the Church’s legal loss in Florida. All Scientologists are hereby ordered to begin purchasing all copies of […]
Will You Be the Next Mrs. Tom Cruise?
Now it can be revealed: The real purpose of COB’s giant circus tent at Flag Land Base in Clearwater is to host COB’s Beauty Contest. Once crowned, the winner will immediately marry […]
Actual OT Positive Case Gain is Here!
We in RTC wish to inform all OT’s that the $500,000 or more you may have donated in the past was all for negative case gain. Due to COB’s brilliance, we in […]
The Church of Scientology: Religious Prisons Are Legal and Necessary!
We in the Church of Scientology wish to make it clear that our religious prison located at the Church’s International Base (Int Base) in San Jacinto, California is a place of uncompromising […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 