Fleet Admiral David Miscavige today issued an RTC emergency ecclesiastical decree forbidding — upon pain of torture, death, and loss of one’s eternity — any Scientologist from reading an upcoming book entitled: […]
CONFIDENTIAL OSA PR Situation: Surveys over the past 25 years have consistently shown Church of Scientology events to be dull, boring, and garish money-grabs. Worse, the wog public believes COB to be […]
“After recently discovering yet more lost tech in the cavernous file cabinets of the Founder that, if laid end to end, would stretch from here to Venus, COB has finally found the […]
The US Department of Homeland Security today announced that actor Sean Penn flew to Curacao for a secret meeting with El Whacko the world’s most notorious ecclesiastical leader. “El Whacko wants me […]
In a private ceremony today in Washington DC, IRS special undercover agent David Miscavige received a gold watch and a distinguished employee award in recognition of his 35 years of service. The […]
“The new Scientology Earth Phone makes it possible for any Scientologist to call any other Scientologist on Earth,” announced Church spokesperson Stayta Kleer. “But rather than relying upon dubious 21st century NSA-infested […]
“The Chairman of Blue Eyed Soul is the only way to describe the music of Dave Miscavige,” said Golden Era Records VP Ken Delusion. “And that’s why we at Golden Era were […]
(click to enlarge) A shocking new study released today by Dr. Dirk Duchebaag, RTC Inspector General for Economic Losses, shows the real costs of suppression to all of the churches in the […]
Post debate surveys indicate that presidential candidate David Miscavige won the CNN debate by historic orders of magnitude,” said Scientology Director of Polling Dr. Eldon Weiner. “Our initial poll reached 12,000,000 Clearwater […]
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