Tag Archives: ratings crash

Scientology TV Offering a Free Coffeemaker to New Viewers

Following a devastating ratings crash, an app crash of magnitude, and joking and degrading reviews in the wog media, COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige took to the airwaves again on Scientology TV to offer new viewers a free coffeemaker if they download the newly-repaired Scientology app for phones.

“This is a high quality coffeemaker,” said Mr. Miscavige. “And it’s yours for free if you download the Scientology TV app and watch 25 hours of Scientology TV. In our newest Meet a Scientologist program you’ll meet Duane and Helen Schuman who live in the San Fernando Valley. Duane and Helen have been in Scientology since the 1970’s and run a somewhat successful vending machine business.”