Speaking today by cell phone from inside the locked trunk of his car into which he had been suddenly thrust for backflashing COB, Church of Scientology spokesmen Ken Delusion announced that Mr. […]
Top Vatican Exorcist to Become RTC Exorcist!
Pope David Miscavige to Lead the Catholic Church!
Church of Scientology leader David Miscavige has irrevocably declared himself Pope Miscavige and will become the Vicar of Christ on Earth during the Papal coronation ceremony to be held at the Vatican […]
Scientology Project Celebrity 2013
In his latest OOD’s (Orders of the Day), Scientology Fleet Admiral David Miscavige announced Scientology Project Celebrity 2013. In the words of Fleet Admiral Miscavige, “The goal of Scientology Project Celebrity 2013 […]
Sea Org Admiral Tom Cruise Denies All Allegations of Abuse, Criminality, Etc.
Sea Org Admiral Tom Cruise recently addressed billions of Scientologists globally concerning the wave of recent attacks on COB RTC David Miscavige and the Church of Scientology. Speaking from the resplendent and […]
Scientology and the Super Bowl
We in the Church of Scientology had planned for months and had everything in place when our big multimillion dollar ad played during the big wog football game called the Super Bowl. […]
Shocking New Data!
We in RTC are releasing shocking new data. Actual surveys indicate that 32.8% of people in the global population are not Scientologists. In other words, wogs still control 1/3 of the planet […]
OT Grant Cardone Speaks on Your Shitty Performances
We in RTC have asked New OT VIII Grant Cardone — a New York Times best selling arthur — to drop by today to ream all of you on your shitty sales […]
Theta Jazz for OT’s!
Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion today announced that as part of the “Softer Side of COB” PR campaign, David Miscavige is releasing his first instrumental jazz album along with fellow Scientologist Chick Corea. […]
The Softer Side of COB
The Church of Scientology’s wog PR firm Sitrick & Company has instructed we in RTC to begin a new ad campaign. Called “The Softer Side of COB“, this PR campaign will show […]
Sitrick & Company Steps in to Help COB RTC David Miscavige
We in RTC are quite pleased to have the very famous and effective wog crisis management firm Sitrick & Company handling the never-ending series of crises in which COB RTC David Miscavige and […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 