Church of Scientology Financial Impact Accounts for 20% of Jobs in America
“The Church of Scientology’s financial impact accounts for 20% of all jobs in America,” Church spokesman Ken Delusion declared today by telex from the ship. “For example, our Ideal Org gas stations […]
Church of Scientology Leader David Miscavige Gives Texas a Gift!
“Church of Scientology Ecclesiastical Leader, His Imperial Holiness David Miscavige, today decreed that Oklahoma no longer exists,” announced Monsignor Ken Delusion. “In his infinite wisdom and beneficence, therefore, His Imperial Holiness David […]
Church of Scientology to Open Aquarium in Downtown Clearwater
“We are the experts on aquariums,” announced Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “And with that in mind, the Church will be opening a new aquarium here in Downtown Clearwater.” “And quite […]
Wog Talk — An Intercepted Conversation!
We in RTC have intercepted “wog talk” and are posting it here for intelligence purposes. This cables intercept is a clear indication that SP’s are plotting against us! Please make a heroic […]
COB Announces the Golden Age of Supremely Deluxe Ideal Orgs!
“‘Ideal’ is no longer good enough,” announced his Imperial Holiness Captain David Miscavige from atop his ecclesiastical warhorse Barnabas. Barnabas, whom Captain Miscavige recently appointed Executive Director International of the Church of […]
Church of Scientology Launches NGAFAY Campaign!
“In order to terminatedly handle wogs, haters, SP’s, and bitter defrocked apostates, we in the Church of Scientology have launched a massive PR offensive,” announced Church of Scientology spokesman Mr. Ken Delusion. […]
New Scientology “Goodwill Ambassador” Disseminates The Way to Happiness!
Church of Scientology International “Goodwill Ambassador” Jenny Linson is traveling the world spreading the positive, life-affirming, moral code contained in the The Way to Happiness. As we in the Church of Scientology […]
David Miscavige Accepts Jesus as His Personal Savior
David Miscavige clutched a Bible in his hands. He humbly stared down at his feet and began slowly speaking. “I am a changed man since I accepted Jesus as my personal lord […]
OSA Investigation Reveals the Hidden SP’s on COB’s Lines!
An OSA investigation has uncovered a troika of three hidden SP’s on COB’s lines. Linson, Yager, and Bloomberg were sent in long ago as deep cover sleeper agents by Psychiatry to wreak […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 