Executed in 1841 for a decade-long crime spree which included pushing seventy people to their deaths from the heights of the Aqueduto das Águas Livres (Aqueduct of the Free Waters), the severed […]
We in the Scientology Office of Special Affairs have disguised our low IQ colleague Ed Parkin as Mr. Peanut. We have done this because the real Mr. Peanut attacked the Church of […]
“Our forces now own Downtown Clearwater!” enthused Scientology Land Führer Hermann Eichmann. “We will next proceed to sweep Clearwater clean of all SP’s!”
We in Scientology wish to apologize for any misunderstanding over the installation of our kiosk in the public lobby of the LAPD Hollywood Division station house. What was supposed to have been […]
The City of Angels was in danger of being taken over by criminal elements as waves of murders and narcotics trafficking ravaged the once fabled city. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse […]
“When word got around that Scientology had a new top-secret e-meter that could instantly cure-all forms of psychological distress and thereby eliminate the need for Psych drugs, Big Pharma was terrified! Big […]
“Facebook shares have been hammered in the last two days,” said Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “Here is the cold-blooded truth: Facebook pulled in the worst-ever single day stock market statcrash because it […]
“It’s not what it looks like,” said Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “The Brigadier General was merely helping COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige with a wardrobe malfunction.” “That this was escalated into a […]
We in the Religious Technology Center are busy, busy, busy handling planetary emergencies. We sometimes even have to handle off-planet emergencies, e.g. the Implanters Union #47 is on strike again at the […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 