Speaking today from a packed news conference at the Howard Johnson’s in Comal County, Texas, Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion expressed the collective moral outrage of the world’s 12,000,000 Scientology parishioners. “In a […]
COB RTC David Miscavige’s giant circus tent has served its epic, incredible, and planetary-changing destiny as the launching pad of GAT II. GAT II is now in highest ever affluence and is […]
Scientology researchers assigned to OSA Computer Unit Network Team S have located the lunatic fringes of the internet. Internal documents reveal that Google routes all digital traffic generated by unemployed bloggers, crackpots, […]
SINO! The mere sound of this filthy word brings a sneer to Captain Miscavige’s face. “Scientologists In Name Only disgust me,” Captain Miscavige said. “These people pay lip service to the Church […]
US Customs officials at the Port of Los Angeles last week ordered 250,000,000 new Scientology Mark VIII e-meters returned to China, this after mistaking the distinctive Scientology electropsychometer for the Hasbro Easy […]
The same lithium ion battery overheating problem plaguing the Boeing Dreamliner has now affected Scientology’s new Ultra Mark VIII e-meter. “The Ultra Mark VIII was designed with lithium ion batteries in order […]
COB RTC David Miscavige today announced that the Church of Scientology had obtained exclusive global rights for the Ouija Board from Parker Brothers. “COB is convinced,” said Church spokesman Ken Delusion,” that […]
Following COB’s stunning surprise announcement that the new Ultra Mark VIII e-meter would be literally given away for the ridiculously low price of $4,900 on Black Friday, millions of Scientologists began lining […]
COB RTC David Miscavige is personally managing the courtship and marriage of Scientologists Tom Cruise and Laura Prepon. “Mr. Miscavige has a proven record of success handling the 2D, or marriages, of […]
The credit card reader on the new Ultra Mark VIII means that auditing has never been easier! Simply slide your card and voila! You’re in session! On a related note, the RTC […]
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