The movie opens with Sam the Scientologist, played by Tom Cruise, being ejected bodily from a saloon and hurled onto the dirty streets of Wogtown: Scene 2: The bad guy “Imonda Internet” […]
Scientology Western Movie Storyboard. Opening Scenes
Church of Scientology Devalues IAS Trophies
“The IAS is gripped by a dual disaster,” exclaimed Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “First, there is a vast oversupply of IAS status trophies. Indeed, IAS warehouses are holding a projected twenty-five year […]
Scientology Fundraising in Action!
“You goddamn #*^&@#* SP! You call yourself an OT while you’re holding out on Scientology! Where’s the rest of your &*^(% money!” “You call $1,000 a donation?! You’re not even close! Hand […]
The IA$ Good Luck Money Necklace
“COB RTC David Miscavige always wears the IA$ Good Luck Money Necklace,” exclaimed Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion, “and so do the rest of we in RTC!” “The IA$ Good Luck Money Necklace […]
New Multipurpose IAS Status Trophy Announced
IAS Patron Immortalius Blovicon and pharmaceutical billionaire Dob Ruggin’s mansion was becoming overcrowded by his hundreds of IAS status trophies. “I was practically tripping over the darned things!” chuckled Dob at a […]
COB RTC David Miscavige names Tom Cruise “World’s First Clear!”
Vowing to “never let a woman keep us apart again” COB RTC David Miscavige reunited with his best friend this evening during the IAS ceremony at East Grinstead, Sussex. And as if […]
IAS Bowling Tournament Winners Announced!
“The recent IAS couples bowling tournament here at Theta Lanes was a smashing success,” gushed ED IAS Bowling Operations Dr. Eldon Weiner. “And while this was a competitive tournament, COB didn’t count […]
Grant Cardone: Stop Wasting Money on Junk!
We in RTC salute OTVIII Grant Cardone for laying down the smack: “Stop Wasting Money on Junk!” Indeed, one’s personal life and livingness expenses should be minimized in order to increasingly raise […]
COB RTC David Miscavige Declares all Scientology Parishioners “Super Power Completions!”
Thanks to the superhuman efforts of Church of Scientology parishioners everywhere, COB RTC David Miscavige today declared Super Power a done. This is amazing news! In a statement from an undisclosed location, […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 