“After recently discovering yet more lost tech in the cavernous file cabinets of the Founder that, if laid end to end, would stretch from here to Venus, COB has finally found the […]
Ideal Org Romania for Ex-Communist Scientologists Now Open
“The new Scientology Ideal Org Romania for Ex-Communist Scientologists is now open,” declared Commissar Frank Wonderman, CO for Eastern European and Russia. “Thus far, however, no Sea Org have reported for duty […]
Ethics Interrogatory on David Miscavige
CONFIDENTIAL OSA INT EMERGENCY COMM Summary: J&D’ers on the interwebs are making fun of the recent OSA Ethics Interrogatory. This J&D activity must be stopped. COB has called a Code Red. All […]
Church of Scientology Needs Heart Transplant
Aged sixty-six and suffering from heart disease, shortness of breath, a bad back, and memory loss, the Church of Scientology was rushed to the emergency room after suddenly passing out during its […]
Sean Penn Meets El Whacko
The US Department of Homeland Security today announced that actor Sean Penn flew to Curacao for a secret meeting with El Whacko the world’s most notorious ecclesiastical leader. “El Whacko wants me […]
Scientology’s Front Porch to Infinity Flooded by El Nino Storms
The Church of Scientology’s brand new front porch to infinity, the same porch just celebrated by COB RTC David Miscavige at the New Year’s Eve event, was flooded today by severe El […]
Church of Scientology to Purchase ISIS Oil
In order to ensure a supply of cheap gasoline to Scientology’s Ideal Org gas stations and mini-marts, Imam David Miscavige recently traveled to Syria and negotiated an oil deal with ISIS for […]
Chief Ferocious Jew & Squaw Hot Momma
File under: You can’t make this stuff up! The Church of Scientology and its members frequently deliver bigotry, racism, vulgarity, profanity, footbullets, and stupidity on a silver platter. No one needs to […]
Conditional Holiday Greetings from the Church of Scientology
Church of Scientology Conditional Holiday Greetings (Please read, fill in your name, date, and then sign and return to your nearest Church of Scientology in the postage-paid return envelope) We in the […]
Billy Joe Bumpus Named 2015 Power FSM of the Year
New OT VII Billy Joe Bumpus of Glendale, California was named Power FSM of the year. “Billy Joe disseminated Scientology to 1.759 billion people of Earth, thus beating Tom Cruise’s old record […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 