The latest technical research at Flag indicates that Scientologists are too overcharged to handle David Miscavige engrams in session. In 90% of cases, the e-meter blew up. The correct handling is to […]
Freewinds Lengthened to Accommodate the Enormous Demand for Scientology
“After two years of work at a cost of $90 million USD, the MV Freewinds has been successfully lengthened to 402 meters (1,319 feet),” announced Captain Mike Napoleon. “The ship will now […]
Scientology Leader David Miscavige Comments on Tom Cruise’s New Movie Mission Impossible Fallout
“How does this glorified stuntman Tom Cruise get such monster stats for his stupid new movie?” asked David Miscavige. “Look at these stats! The opening weekend of Mission Impossible — Fallout is […]
David Miscavige Wardrobe Malfunction Leads to a Morals Charge; Big Pharma Behind the Plot!
“It’s not what it looks like,” said Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “The Brigadier General was merely helping COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige with a wardrobe malfunction.” “That this was escalated into a […]
David Miscavige Master Class Announced on Facebook
Have you ever wanted to be wealthy, violent, and insane cult leader? Well now the Pompadoured Pontiff David Miscavige teaches you all of his secrets in a new Master Class series. Here’s […]
Scientology Butthurt Cream: For Pain Levels of 2.0 or Greater!
Scientology Butthurt Cream is indicated for butthurt pain levels of 2.0 or greater. What are some examples of when a Scientologist needs to use Scientology Butthurt Cream? Below are three scenarios: Scenario […]
Scientology Uber Driver Issues Tone 40 Commands
The trained Scientologist never Q&A’s with the reactive mind of a wog. Here we see GAT II trained Scientologist and OTVII Ted Malinowski repeating the command to a stupid wog. In doing […]
LRH’s Exactly Taped Path Out of the Trap
By way of answering an oft-asked technical question we get in RTC, Dr. Hubbard used Mighty Line® Deluxe Safety Tape – 4″ x 100′, Yellow/Black to exactly tape the way out of […]
Ambien Explains the Behavior of David Miscavige
“We in the Church of Scientology can at last offer a coherent and wholly scientific explanation for the bizarre and violent behavior of our leader COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige. The explanation […]
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