Way back on the wholetrack, levitation was something we could all routinely do. Levitation was in fact how the pyramids were built. But then something happened — and we all lost our […]
We in in the Church of Scientology are issuing a very public Christmas day warning to so-called comedian Kathy Griffin: Kathy, this must stop or else! http://youtu.be/D-O1BQfjs-4 We are also warning the […]
“In a shocking turn of events at the annual Scientology Christmas parade, COB RTC David Miscavige was run over by a reindeer,” Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion stated at a special […]
Reprinted below: A vintage 2006 Church of Scientology ad campaign recruiting waiters and other hospitality professionals for the Flag Land Base:
We in RTC are ordering all Scientologists to buy at least 50 copies of this special new Book & Cassette package in time for the holidays! These vital new materials are guaranteed […]
We in RTC are often badgered by bitter defrocked apostates for actual paper copies of their goldenrod declares. This will never happen so don’t even ask. We in RTC know the cunning […]
“We in the Church of Scientology applaud the anti-gay attitudes of Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson,” said Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Indeed,” Delusion noted, “1.1’s, or homosexuals, are not allowed in the […]
“The Church of Scientology faces critical situations in South Africa,” Church spokesman Ken Delusion announced today at a news conference. “As a result of these these very critical situations,” Delusion commented, “”COB […]
“The Church of Scientology has a magnificent new Cathedral in Florida,” exclaimed Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “One of the more dramatic sculptures inside of our Cathedral,” Delusion noted, “depicts a translucent thetan […]
We in RTC have just declared the entire Church of Scientology PTS to RTC, this after the major statcrash in sales of the following: Basics GAT II services Ultra Mark VIII e-meters […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 