Hey young people! Here’s a groovy free CD offer from your friends at the Church of Scientology!
Hey young people! Here’s a groovy free CD offer from your friends at Scientology. We’re the coolest religion on Earth! Just fill out the card and mail it in or drop by […]
Scientology Adopts the Flat Earth Cosmology
Public Notice: The Church of Scientology has officially adopted a Flat Earth cosmology after finding lost tech written by the Founder. Scientologists have never believed in the lies of science and now […]
New Scientology Tower Looms Above Hollywood!
“Due to the enormous popularity of Scientology’s ‘Big Blue’ complex in Hollywood, COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige has ordered the addition of 24 extra stories to the landmark edifice,” announced spokesman Ken […]
Church of Scientology to Open 1000 McDonald’s Franchises
“In a desperate and clutching last-ditch attempt to recruit new members, the Church of Scientology today announced that it would be opening 1,000 McDonald’s franchises in key cities across the world,” announced […]
Butthurt & Enturbulated in Scientology
Scientology spokesman & cyber-fascist Marty Rathbun is butthurt & enturbulated. He is fuming mad that you SP’s have freedom of speech! How dare you! How dare you SP’s and your so-called books, […]
Fleet Admiral Rathbun on Fake News
“So get this bit of cute fake news the media uses to troll Scientology: Sure, the Guardian’s Office decapitated a few dozen people 35 years ago but that’s old news. I purged […]
New Church of Scientology Spokesman Marty Rathbun Denies Everything
New Church of Scientology spokesman Marty Rathbun denies everything. This new Scientology all purpose denial — “it never happened” — is now official Church doctrine. It never happened. Never happened.
Newly Rehabilitated Scientology Executive Announces Major Policy Change
“We in the Church of Scientology are announcing a major policy change,” declared newly rehabilitated Church executive Marty Rathbun who was in no way paid off, bribed, or cut a deal. Acting […]
Marty Explains the ASC
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 