There are covert operations being run on me by the troika and their financiers! I can tell because there were tire tracks on the road by the gas station that weren’t there […]
Mark C. Rathbun: OMG! The Martians Are After Me!
Get the SP!
Dad was driving the family’s Oldsmobile Vista-Cruiser when he spotted the SP in the crosswalk. Dad accelerated hard, and, with a hard-fixed Scientology glare, aimed the gleaming 5,000 pounds of Detroit steel […]
RTC Confidential Memo to COB: Super Bowl Ad Analysis
Dear Sir, Your Super Bowl ad was super-fantastic. Our tracking data shows that over five billion people responded positively to the ad. These billions of people now have a favorable impression of […]
Tom Cruise’s Escape from Scientology Thwarted by OSA Special Forces!
Tom Cruise yesterday tried to escape from Scientology’s ultra-secret compound in Trementina, New Mexico. The 55 year old actor bolted from his cell, ran across the tarmac, and grabbed onto the side […]
Scientology: Buggery on the High Seas!
The motor vessel Freewinds will be the location of Scientology Media Productions first feature film Buggery on the High Seas. Based on a screenplay by L. Ron Haddock, the film features “rum […]
Budget Drastically Slashed for L. Ron Hubbard’s 2018 Birthday Event
“Due to the extreme global statcrash in Scientology’s gross income brought about by a certain suppressive television show, Ron’s 2018 birthday event will be held at Dwayne and Helen Schuman’s home in […]
Scientologist Joy Villa Wears a “Choose Fife” Dress to the Grammys
Saying she felt Deputy Barney Fife of the Mayberry Sheriff’s Department embodied the best in MAGA values, Scientology celebutard Joy Villa wore a “Choose Fife” dress to the 2018 Grammys. The Grammy-considered […]
A Message from Scientology Leader David Miscavige to Joy Villa:
How dare Joy Villa think it was okay to “play down” Scientology to a bunch of Trump-loving MAGA wogs! How are Joy pretend to be a Christian when she knows that the […]
David Miscavige Mistaken for Marge Simpson
“COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige’s hair finally got piled so high and over-tinted that the ecclesiastical leader was mistaken for Marge Simpson,” said Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “An investigation by RTC has […]
The Faith Tones to Appear at Scientology Fundraiser
The Christian songstress trio The Faith Tones will be appearing this weekend at Flag’s annual fundraiser for COB’s birthday present. Their appearance at Flag proves that we in Scientology are very Christian. […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 