Now we know what really goes on aboard the Scientology ship Freewinds when it’s out to sea: A group whitening process. Bon voyage on your Scientology journey to… a white anus.
Bodhi Elfman and the Secret of Scientology Anus Whitening
OTVIIIisGrrr8!
Contact: jeff4light@aol.com
Tom Cruise Quits Scientology — But Scientology Doesn’t Quit Tom Cruise!
Tom Cruise recently had a thought that he wanted to quit Scientology. Tom confided this thought to a so-called friend who immediately leaked the story to the wog media as we see […]
Prince Andrew Turns to Scientology for Help; Worries if He Can Afford it After Losing His £249,000 Royal Salary
“A troubled Prince Andrew has turned to we in the Church of Scientology for help,” said spokesman Ken Delusion. “The Flag Case Supervisor has ordered the Prince to undergo 100 hours of […]
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Aryan Brotherhood Adopts Scientology as a Way to Handle Engrams and Past Trauma
Encouraged by the ways in which Scientology has helped Nation of Islam members become better Muslims, the Aryan Brotherhood today announced that its members have begun Dianetics and Scientology courses in the […]
Scientology Leader Missing Over Kansas City in Freak Helium Balloon Mishap!
“It was freak accident,” declared Ken Delusion. “Mr. Miscavige’s right wrist and forearm became entangled in the helium balloons when they were released. The bantamweight Mr. Miscavige was suddenly swept heavenward by […]
World Exclusive: NASA Rover Curiosity Discovers Ancient Cult Temple on Mars!
“While cresting the edge of the Gale crater on Mars, NASA’s Curiosity rover was suddenly presented with a stunning view of an ancient and deserted Cult temple on Mars!,” announced NASA astroarcheologist […]
The New and Improved Narconon for 2020: Now with Ghost Writer Software!
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Scientology Space Admiral Miscavige Rockets to Target 2!
Scientology Space Admiral Miscavige rocketed to Target 2 today in search of the missing OT levels 9-15. “L. Ron Hubbard took OT levels 9-15 with him when he dropped his body and […]
The Church of Scientology Declares War on Downtown Clearwater!
“Everyone hates we in Scientology these days,” exclaimed Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “That’s why COB’s new strategy is ‘fuck em!‘ We in Scientology are going back to the good ol’ Guardians Office […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 