We in RTC applaud Scientology OTVIII Grant Cardone for his very deep and profound view of Jesus. It comes near the very end:
IAS Bowling Tournament Winners Announced!
“The recent IAS couples bowling tournament here at Theta Lanes was a smashing success,” gushed ED IAS Bowling Operations Dr. Eldon Weiner. “And while this was a competitive tournament, COB didn’t count […]
Grant Cardone: Stop Wasting Money on Junk!
We in RTC salute OTVIII Grant Cardone for laying down the smack: “Stop Wasting Money on Junk!” Indeed, one’s personal life and livingness expenses should be minimized in order to increasingly raise […]
David Miscavige’s Problems
Chairman Miscavige is suffering from a long list of problems. As a result, $750,000,000 is needed by Thursday at 2:00 PM. You yourself are personally responsible for all of COB’s problems and […]
Captain Miscavige Declares Flag Down an Illegal Criminal Assembly
Captain David Miscavige today declared Flag Down an illegal criminal assembly. Captain Miscavige additionally banned Church parishioners from going anywhere within 3000 nautical miles of Flag Down. “This 3000 nautical mile SP […]
Church of Scientology to Purchase Los Angeles Clippers as Birthday Gift for David Miscavige
“The Church of Scientology has reached a deal with Donald Sterling to purchase the Los Angeles Clippers as a birthday gift for Church leader David Miscavige,” announced Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “While […]
Clippers Owner Donald Sterling Turns to David Miscavige for Crisis PR Management
“Crippled by incontrovertible ‘smoking gun’ evidence of his racial bigotry, Clippers owner Donald Sterling has turned to David Miscavige for crisis PR management,” Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion announced today at a Staples […]
Vladamir Putin Calls Internet a “CIA Project” – Receives Scientology Medal of Valor
MOSCOW (AP) – “President Vladimir Putin on Thursday called the Internet a CIA project and made comments about Russia’s biggest search engine Yandex, sending the company’s shares plummeting…” “We in RTC applaud […]
Flim Flam Man Kevin Trudeau – So Secret, So Like an IAS Secret Briefing!
Kevin Trudeau gives you a secret special briefing that is almost as good as a special confidential IAS briefing. The only difference between Kevin Trudeau and the IAS is that Kevin is […]
Alert! Urgent! Office of Special Affairs Recruiting! Join NOW NOW NOW!
“All hands emergency: The Office of Special Affairs is on an urgent recruit cycle to bring some new bodies into the most badly overworked area in the Church.” “We’ve entered an entirely […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 