Dad was driving the family’s Oldsmobile Vista-Cruiser when he spotted the SP in the crosswalk. Dad accelerated hard, and, with a hard-fixed Scientology glare, aimed the gleaming 5,000 pounds of Detroit steel […]
Get the SP!
Danny Masterson Appearance at Scientology’s Christmas Party Cancelled
“Danny Masterson’s traditional appearance as Santa Claus at the Scientology Celebrity Centre’s Christmas gala has been cancelled,” said Church spokesman Ken Delusion. When asked to comment on the allegations that Scientologist Danny […]
PUBLIC NOTICE: TORONTO SP CONFERENCE DECLARED AN ILLEGAL CRIMINAL ASSEMBLY
— TO BE READ ALOUD TO THE ILLEGALLY ASSEMBLED SP TORONTO CONFERENCE BY A DESIGNATED SP AUTHORITY— We in RTC have declared the SP Toronto Conference, or conclave, or whatever it is […]
OSA DICK
OSA Director of Internet Combat Killers (OSA DICK) Dr. Werner Von Strudeldorf sat at his desk and concluded his analysis of the latest datums. “There is no doubt about it,” Von Strudeldorf […]
This Is a Test of the SP Broadcasting System
There is nothing wrong with your internets. This is only a test of the SP Broadcasting System. Do not attempt to adjust the entheta. We are controlling transmission. If we wish […]
How to get a convinced Scientologist on the road to donating more to the IAS!
How to get a convinced Scientologist on the road to donating more to the IAS! Stable Datum: All members of the Church of Scientology have a button on self importance, particularly OT’s […]
Church of Scientology’s Master Plan for Clearwater, Florida
“We in the Church of Scientology are pleased to announce our sweeping and fully embracive new master plan to transform Clearwater, Florida,” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “When the Church of Scientology […]
The Church of Scientology’s Solution to the Unemployment Problem
“Our beloved Chairman David Miscavige has announced a bold new initiative to end the unemployment problem,” declared Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “The answer is to join the Sea Org.” “The […]
Wog Encirclement
Wog Encirclement An Essay and Call to Action by Comrade Dr. Frank Wonderman What are the facts which our Church of Scientology comrades have forgotten about, or which they simply have not […]
The Hidden SP on COB’s Lines Found
“A recent OSA investigation has determined that Lee Baca, the former Sheriff of Los Angeles County, was the hidden SP on COB’s lines,” Church spokesman Ken Delusion solemnly announced to local newspaper […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 