— TO BE READ ALOUD TO THE ILLEGALLY ASSEMBLED HOWDYCON CRIMINAL ASSEMBLY BY THE DESIGNATED SP IN CHARGE— Acting in his capacity as Imperial Galactic Interstellar Emperor, RTC Chief Inquisitor, and Space […]
Battlefield Earth: Shelly Battles Terl!
Alien Spaceship Crashes in Hollywood!
“He just won’t stop talking!” exclaimed Ken Delusion, CO OSA INT Space Alien Incarceration Unit. “This alien blathers on and on and on all day and night and incessantly demands expensive scotch!” […]
Two Scientologists on the Same Day
While COB RTC David Miscavige’s dictatorship of the Church of Scientology is a fraudulent narrative from beginning to end, perhaps the clearest and most glaring lies concern his cover-up of his own […]
Announcing the New “Freedom From Oxygen Rundown”
“Guaranteed to crack any case, the new Freedom From O2 Rundown results in almost immediate unconsciousness followed by permanent full exteriorization within a few minutes,” enthused Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “As COB […]
Scientology Orgs Now Serving the “COB Royale With Cheese!”
Desperate to recruit new members, Scientology Orgs are now offering visitors the best, biggest, and most deluxe burger in the universe: The COB Royale With Cheese. The RTC-approved COB Royale With Cheese […]
Urine Command!
Captain Ken Delusion strode disgustedly from the men’s room in the music studio at Gold Base and yelled “Urine Command!” Ensign Stayta Kleer who was standing nearby in the empty hallway replied, […]
Church of Scientology to Build Replica of Berlin Zoo Flak Tower
Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion today announced that the Church is building an exact replica of the WWII Berlin Zoo Flak Tower. “The site will be located on Hollywood Boulevard next […]
Scientology Media Productions Test Pattern #8
“That’s All Folks!” Scientology Media Productions Test Pattern #8
Jesus Leaves Christianity; Joins Scientology’s Sea Org
Admitting that Christianity doesn’t work because it is based upon a Psych R6 implant, Jesus Christ today cut his hair, shaved off his beard, and joined Scientology’s Sea Org. “Scientology is based […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 