Speaking today from the set of Nation of Islam Scientology Education (NOISE), at the SMP studios the Reverend Doctor David Miscavige declared, “Off Source is the new On Source!” Explained the Rev. […]
“If you’re stuck on the toilet, then surely you’ll be stuck on your Bridge as well,” declared Dr. Juan Diego San Kool de Menthol, New OTVIII, three L’s completions, OEC/FEBC with gold […]
“COB Pompous Ass cologne is redolent of snobbery and elitism and yet has whimsical undertones of desperation, lies, and impending doom.” — Perfume & Colognes Weekly “It smells like ass.” Ricardo Flavio, […]
Beset by liquidity issues related to a five-year stat crash downtrend, the Church of Scientology today announced the sale of subordinated debentures to the tune of $2.5 billion. The minimum buy-in is […]
Following the unprecedented success of Guhlaxy Press selling 50,000,000 copies Battlefield Earth at Comic-Con 2016, COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige is having Bridge Publications rush into production a 100,000,000 piece print run […]
“Entheta is up 3,000%,” announced Captain Ken Delusion, CO Entheta Particles Unit OSA. “Even with all he is doing, and all he has done, COB can’t open new Ideal Orgs fast enough […]
“This latest Philboard wouldn’t have happened had the tough new ‘Scientology Pre-Crime Thought Law’ been in place,” explained Ken Delusion, VP of Media Relations for Scientology Media Productions of the Eastern United […]
Turkey’s wog President Recep Tayyip Erdogan today publicly thanked the Fleet Admiral David Miscavige and his elite RTC Thetan Team 6 commandos for crushing the attempted coup against Erdogan’s government. Said Scientology […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 