“Scientology leader Generalissimo David Miscavige has placed his name before the US Senate as a wild-card-last-minute nominee to be next Justice to the Supreme Court,” said Scientology VP of Public Affairs Mr. […]
Scientology Erects Safety Fences Around All Orgs to Protect Scientologists
Scientology Security Minister Mr. Dag Diego today confirmed that safety fences have been erected around all Scientology Orgs. “This has been done to protect Scientologists,” said Commander Diego. “Scientology can ill afford […]
Allen Stanfield aka Alanzo Has a Serious Medical Condition!
“Allen Stanfield aka the shitposter ‘Alanzo’ has a very bad medical condition in which is head is permanently lodged up his ass,” said Dr. Shirley Dye of the Hollywood Religious Hospital. “Allen […]
Scientologist Don Dissemination Robs Banks to Pay for his Bridge & IAS Statuses — Part II
Scientology OT VIII and IAS Premier Luminary Don Dissemination was in a cold sweat. He’d just robbed a bank at gunpoint and was fleeing the scene. As Don rounded the curve in […]
Scientologist Don Dissemination Robs Banks to Pay for his Bridge & IAS Statuses
Scientology OT VIII and Premier Luminary Don Dissemination was in a cold sweat. He had just robbed a bank at gunpoint and was fleeing the scene. The admonition that “OT’s make it […]
Archeo-Scientologists Discover an Intact 75-Million Year Old Spaceplane!
Just as the discovery of 50,000 year old fossilized e-meter shocked the world and proved the antiquity of Scientology, the latest discovery by Dr. Ken Delusion’s team of Archeo-Scientologists is guaranteed to […]
Fossilized E-Meter Found at Archeological Dig Proves Scientology is 50,000 Years Old!
“The world-changing discovery of a fossilized e-meter at a dig in Iraq proves that Scientology is 50,000 years old,” announced Dr. Ken Delusion, Scientology’s Director of Archeo-Emeterology, an emerging new scientific field. […]
Freeloading Trillion Year Old Evil Space Alien Thetan in a Baby Body Busted!
Little Benjie Witt’s mother Bonnie — an OT III — walked into the living room to find Benjie on the floor “playing” with the television remote control. Benjie had turned the television […]
Generalissimo David Miscavige of the Scientology Imperial War Department Declares War on Colombia!
Generalissimo David Miscavige of the Scientology Imperial War Department has declared war on Colombia. “Generalissimo Miscavige was publicly humiliated by the Colombian people! And many have called his award a Medalla Falsa,” […]
Scientology to Turn Its Glut of Empty Ideal Orgs into Airbnb’s
“With a glut of empty Ideal Orgs splattered across the continents of Earth, we in Scientology are hemorrhaging cash paying for the upkeep on all of this square footage. Accordingly, Scientology will […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 