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In global ecclesiastical news today, Vatican spokesman Bishop. M. Plant announced that Starbucks has been selected at the official coffee kiosk of St. Peters. “The new Starbucks is now open in the […]
” An inky black darkness has descended upon the Flag Land Base,” declared Comrade Dr. Frank Wonderman, CO INT STAT CRASH INVESTIGATIONS UNIT. “My initial investigation has revealed that fully 84% of […]
Recent surveys conducted by we in RTC have shown a 64X increase in Happiness in the Church of Scientology. “Increased happiness is not an accident,” said WDC Chairman Holotta Delusion. “Increased happiness […]
We in the Church of Scientology are calling for an end to the madness of the internet and its incessant attacks upon religion, decency, and morality. We in Scientology long for a […]
OSA Director of Internet Combat Killers (OSA DICK) Dr. Werner Von Strudeldorf sat at his desk and concluded his analysis of the latest datums. “There is no doubt about it,” Von Strudeldorf […]
“While it is true that former Speaker of the House Denny Hastert was a Scientologist who received hundreds of hours of Scientology auditing in the 1970’s,” said Church spokesman Ken Delusion, “it […]
“Peace and prosperity are just around the corner for we in the Church of Scientology,” said Chairman David Miscavige. “The forces of global psychiatric suppression are collapsing under the withering onslaught of […]
“Destined to become the definitive text for global ecclesiastical leaders everywhere, Captain David Miscavige’s The Art of Ecclesiastical Stage Design: A Study in Scientology Understatement offers vital data on how to drain […]
“With record Scientology expansion comes record suppression,” said Church spokesman Ken Delusion, “and that is why Captain Miscavige had 24 additional stories added to the Superannuated Los Angeles Infinity Platinum Model Ideal […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 