“Folks are just so doggone crazy about those “all you can eat” specials at wog restaurants,” observed Dr. Eldon Weiner, CO Marketing Development, Flag Land Base. “The Olive Garden offered its a […]
Blown Sea Org Member Recovered After 43 Years!
“You can run but you can’t hide,” declared Sea Org Commander Linda Beater, CO of BSOMRU (Blown Sea Org Member Recovery Unit). “And so when Melden Fenster blew the Sea Org in […]
The Freewinds Crippled and Adrift in the Ocean!
“The MV Freewinds has run out of fuel, electrical power, and food somewhere between Aruba and Cartagena,” reported Commander Ken Delusion of the Scientology Maritime Bureaux. “The ship is now drifting aimlessly […]
GAT II Preclears Going Exterior With No Perceptions!
“Scientologists on GAT II are going exterior with no perceptions in record numbers,” enthused Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Exterior with No Perceptions is the single most important GAT II technical breakthrough ever […]
Costume Fundraising Now a Bridge Action!
“Following COB’s ecclesiastical triumph of relocating the Purif and TR’s and Objectives to their rightful place high atop the Bridge after New OT VIII, Mr. Miscavige has now found another piece of […]
The Scientology Interfaith Project Presents Evangelist Johathon Bell
We in the Church of Scientology recently had our girl Sylvia Stanard speak at an interfaith gathering. Sylvia’s soul-stirring speech at Chautauqua has been acclaimed for excellence in religious truth-telling. In the […]
Announcing the New Church of Spiritual Technology Visitor Centers
“It can all be summed up in two words,” declared Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion, “COB cares.” “Indeed, COB cares so very, very much that he recently and fully surveyed the […]
The IAS Bridge to Total Patronage
“If you did the OT Levels and became confused or stalled, well you’re not alone!” declared COB RTC David Miscavige. “The Bridge to Total Freedom has never been properly understood due to […]
COB Fires Off the New Fundraising Police!
We in RTC are pleased to present another inspirational talk and call to action by Comrade Dr. Frank Wonderman. Здравствуйте! My fellow Scientologists, we in COB’s newly created Fundraising Police have been […]
Church of Scientology Defeats the Criminal Squirrel Group Narconon!
We in RTC were shocked to learn of a criminal Psych group using the name of “Narconon” in order to sell a bogus “Scientology-based” drug treatment program. To put it bluntly, OSA […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 