Scientology’s Enemies “Out Exchange” on Fair Game!
“While reviewing cash flow numbers today, Captain David Miscavige expressed vague unease at the one hundred million dollars in parishioner money being spent each month on Fair Game and lawyers,” declared Scientology […]
Church of Scientology Leader David Miscavige Gives Texas a Gift!
“Church of Scientology Ecclesiastical Leader, His Imperial Holiness David Miscavige, today decreed that Oklahoma no longer exists,” announced Monsignor Ken Delusion. “In his infinite wisdom and beneficence, therefore, His Imperial Holiness David […]
Church of Scientology to Commence Religious Whaling Operations
“The Church of Scientology will commence whaling operations next week,” Church spokesman Ken Delusion announced during a press conference at Scientology Media Productions in Burbank. “While we in the Church of Scientology […]
The Freewinds Crippled and Adrift in the Ocean!
“The MV Freewinds has run out of fuel, electrical power, and food somewhere between Aruba and Cartagena,” reported Commander Ken Delusion of the Scientology Maritime Bureaux. “The ship is now drifting aimlessly […]
Church of Scientology Leader Applauds Duck Dynasty’s Homphobia
“We in the Church of Scientology applaud the anti-gay attitudes of Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson,” said Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Indeed,” Delusion noted, “1.1’s, or homosexuals, are not allowed in the […]
US Customs Officials Confuse New Scientology E-Meter for Easy Bake Oven
US Customs officials at the Port of Los Angeles last week ordered 250,000,000 new Scientology Mark VIII e-meters returned to China, this after mistaking the distinctive Scientology electropsychometer for the Hasbro Easy […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 