Tucker Carlson Attacked by Demon; Scientology Diagnoses the Attack and Offers to Help
Tucker Carlson Attacked by Demon; Scientology Diagnoses the Attack and Offers to Help
We in RTC Have Discovered the Hidden Who who is Destroying Scientology!
We in RTC consider Scientology registrars, as a class, to be lazy and stupid. They have always been this way. For example, when then-registrar Ken Delusion, who later became our International Spokesman, […]
Fugitive Spacelord Xenu Located!
Due to the nonstop tsunami of entheta and Black PR attacks Scientology has been under since 2008 and even earlier, we in RTC knew Spacelord Xenu had escaped from his electronic mountain […]
Top Secret: US Gov’t Psychological Profile of David Miscavige
Subject “DM” is a W/M 5’1′” 118 pounds. Blue eyes, brown hair. Age 63. DM is the sole authoritarian leader of a small and declining radicalized psychoterrorist organization headquartered in Clearwater, Florida. […]
First Alien Abduction of 2022: The Marcabs Seize Space Admiral David Miscavige
Alien Abduction Incident Report. January 1, 2022. 0632 Hours. Clearwater, Florida. As he walked the quiet early morning streets around Flag Land Base, Space Admiral David Miscavige was abducted by a marauding […]
NASA Rover Finds 75 Million Year Old Artifact on Mars
“The Perseverance rover was scouting the Marcabian between-lives implanting stations on Mars when it discovered a 75 million year old Scientology e-meter,” said NASA Rover Director Ken Delusion. “Follow the science,” Delusion […]
Church of Scientology Sues QAnon for Infringing Its Copyrights on Selling Fear & Conspiracy Porn
“We in the Church of Scientology are furious with QAnon!” roared Ken Delusion. “Selling paranoia and fear and implaning people is Scientology’s core business market,” Delusion emphasized. “QAnon has no goddamned business trying to cut into our lucrative Fear and Porn market.
The Scientologist’s Work is Never Done
Tom Cruise: Lost in Space — Part 1
Scientology OT VIII Tom Cruise was strapped into the super-secret RTC TR3-B hypersonic spaceplane. He had been scrambled aloft following yet another Marcabian incursion into the air space above Flag Land Base. […]
Marcab Implanting Ships Attempt to Menace St. Hill
“Marcab Implanting Ships today attempted to conduct a menacing low-level flyby of Saint Hill,” reported Scientology Civil Defense Warden Ken Delusion. “HCOB called order and all Scientologists immediately assembled and put tractor […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 