Tag Archives: Kirstie Alley

Scientology Thanksgiving with Tom Cruise and Kirstie Alley

Kirstie Alley arrives with CBB Finalists at The Village Hotel in Warrington

Colorful caftans are all the rage in Scientology this Thanksgiving thanks to our OTVIII Goodwill Ambassador Kirstie Alley.

“Kirstie can rock a mumu like no one else,” said Tom Cruise as he prepared to celebrate an LRH Thanksgiving by donning the ritual cravat and throwing hapless Sea Org members into the foul waters of the cesspool at Int Base.

“The DB’s at Int Base need their ethics put in hard,” snarled Cruise.

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Kirstie Alley’s Scientology OT Charm School Now in Session

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Kirstie Alley, Scientology New OT VII feels compelled to slug people in the vagina or the nuts to shame them. These are effective solutions for life Kirstie gained after donating millions of dollars to we in the Church of Scientology. This is true because Kirstie is not some fucking fake OT 7:

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Scientologist Kirstie Alley gives the OT Salute:

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Chief Ferocious Jew & Squaw Hot Momma

File under: You can’t make this stuff up! The Church of Scientology and its members frequently deliver bigotry, racism, vulgarity, profanity, footbullets, and stupidity on a silver platter. No one needs to caricature the Church of Scientology when Scientologists do such a good job of making a complete mockery of Scientology all by themselves.

Example: Scientology OT’s Bodhi and Jenna Elfman continue on with their campaign to prove they  have become irrelevant celebutards. In a New Year’s day tweet, Bodhi Elfman has engaged in the worst stereotyping of Native Americans to tweet greetings from “Chief Ferocious Jew & Squaw Hot Momma.”

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More Scientology OT Racism: In the video below of the Squirrel Busters attacking Marty Rathbun at LAX, Scientologist Izzy Chait speaks to Marty beginning @ 3:33 concerning Scientology’s Inglewood Org: “Don’t fucking talk to me about Inglewood! I started Inglewood… there was never any fucking Black people in the Church before…don’t talk to me about schwartzes*…if you want to talk about Black people or the Nation of Islam or Inglewood, I’m the man to talk to and ask the questions….”

*schwartze: A German word meaning “black”, but was incorporated into American Jewish slang to be a derogatory term towards black people .If you are black and someone uses the word “schwartze” in their conversation in your general direction, chances are he shooting racial slurs at you.

In one of her 2015 YouTube videos (below) Jenna Elfman declared that she would “blow a horse” if she could stay home and watch Netflix all day. See below at 15:26:

This video is a nice complement to Scientology celebutard Juliette Lewis showing just how theta and OT she can be:

In addition to being a Scientology actor, Juliette Lewis is also is a famous OT singing sensation:

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Scientology OT’s Grant and Elena Cardone have shown us their high ARC to wogs everywhere:

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Scientology OT goodwill ambassador Kirstie Alley is right there with the Cardone’s in saying “fuck you” to anyone who does not care for Scientology:

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Scientologist Danny Masterson said in his 2015 Paper magazine interview that Scientology critics can go fuck themselves. The Huffington Post and many other outlets picked up on Danny Masterson’s OTness:
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In an exclusive Los Angeles Times story by Kim Christensen, it was revealed that David Miscavige had his two private investigators following his father. The PI’s called Miscavige to let him know that his father was apparently having a heart attack and asked if they should intervene. Miscavige said no. “If he dies he dies,” said David Miscavige about his own father. We know this happened because the two PI’s were later arrested with guns, a silencer, and a horde of ammunition. In order to beat a felony charge for the silencer, the PI’s apparently told the police everything. A police officer is shown in the photo below  holding the silencer the PI’s had on a semiautomatic rifle:
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Tony Ortega, Vanity Fair, and many other outlets reported on the story. Through his sockpuppet Karin Pouw, Miscavige declared the entire story “proveable bullshit.” Vanity Fair received this response from Miscavige’s attorney Lee Hertzberg:

So let me be clear: No such conversation with Mr. Miscavige ever took place and any claim that one did is provable bullshit.”

All of this goes back to Scientology OT Tom Cruise’s 2004 Rolling Stone interview:

He lists some of Scientology’s selling points: its drug-abuse, prison-rehabilitation and education programs. “Some people, well, if they don’t like Scientology, well, then, fuck you.” He rises from the table. “Really.” He points an angry finger at the imaginary enemy. “Fuck you.” His face reddens. “Period.”

And who can forget 2014’s memorable scene with top Scientology executives Jenny Linson, Dave Bloomberg, and Marc Yager attacking Marty Rathbun at LAX? If Jenny Linson acted this way in a secular corporation she would be immediately terminated for cause. However, as she works for David Miscavige she can behave in this inexcusable manner:

For more about Scientologists behaving badly see: The Church of Scientology: A rollicking legacy of belligerence, profanity, paranoia, and violence.

The Scientology E-Metermobile Is Coming to Your City!

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“The Church of Scientology E-Metermobile is coming to your city soon!” enthused Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Captain Miscavige and OT Tom Cruise will kickoff the 200 city E-Metermobile Scientology Goodwill Ambassador tour in Clearwater, Florida this weekend!  The two most dedicated Scientologists on the planet will be visiting county fairs, malls, parks, and other venues as Scientology Goodwill Ambassadors!”

“Our newest OTVIII Kirstie Alley, who just returned from the ship, is kicking off the action in Los Angeles at PAC Base! Be there to hear about Kirstie’s wins on OTVIII and help yourself to the free pizza, music, and even a 1960’s-style Watusi dance contest!”

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“OT John Travolta and his lovely 2D OT Kelly Preston will launch the E-Metermobile tour from the Ideal Org in New York City. Be sure to be there for the free pizza and the Jive Aces concert!”

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“The message these Scientology Goodwill Ambassadors are spreading is simple: ‘Don’t believe the lies! Don’t watch the HBO hate show on Scientology! Come into an Org, sign a few simple contracts, pay us $360,000, and find about Scientology for yourself!”

The Caper in Cannes!

Sometimes we in the Church of Scientology have to take time off from the urgency of Planetary Clearing to handle some bare-knuckle business that, while not pretty, needs to be done for the greatest good of all concerned.

Such was the case recently when we were informed that the SP criminal  government of Cyprus was confiscating 47.5% of our considerable IAS and other cash reserves held in Cypriot banks. As the always astute John P. of Global Capitalism HQ commented, that was a big haircut.

We had to make up for the damage caused by the Psychopathic Cypriot Banker Attack.

We responded by sending in Sea Org Admiral Tom Cruise on what we are calling the Caper in Cannes.

Admiral Cruise acted in magnificent fashion in liberating some wog jewels in Cannes that were heavily insured. In other words, no one got hurt except for the very same bankers who own both the jewelers in Cannes and the banks in Cyprus that stole our money in the first place!

We’re still counting the haul.

COB has to calculate in the 25% fee demanded by OT Grant Cardone to move all of this ice.

We in RTC are putting the hooks to Grant to come down to a more reasonable 2.5% but Grant is pushing back and acting like this is a darned used car deal.

The nerve of this guy! The Church made him what he is and now he does this to COB!