Tag Archives: Psychs

Psychiatrist Caught Trying to Smuggle New Top Secret E-Meter Out of Scientology Org!


“When word got around that Scientology had a new top-secret e-meter that could instantly cure-all forms of psychological distress and thereby eliminate the need for Psych drugs, Big Pharma was terrified! Big Pharma knew that Scientology was poised to put Big Pharma and its army of Psychiatrists out of business!”

“Accordingly,” said Scientology Chief Inspector Bobby Ray Bigly, “Big Pharma sent in an undercover agent into our Toledo Ideal Org to steal one of the new Quantum Mark XV meters.”

“The Psych literally shoved the new meter up his backside in order to conceal it. However, OSA Security caught him as he was painfully waddling out of the Org. An x-ray showed the meter lodged in his rectum. The Psych tried to flee but obviously didn’t get very far.”

“The suspect was arrested without incident and has been charged with the attempted theft of a patented religious artifact. The e-meter had to be removed surgically; it was not a pretty sight.”

False Data Spreader

Thanks to improved technology, the new False Data Spreader 47X from Psych Industries — the trusted name in Psychiatric Suppression supplies and implanting equipment for over 150 years — works 1500% faster than previous models! False data about Scientology can now be spread over entire communities and neighborhoods in hours and not days!

And Psych’s new False Data 9000 mix is rich in lies, suppression, enturbulative facts, rumors, innuendoes, and even wrong double datums about Scientology! Designed to kill false data stripping and other Scientology processes, False Data 9000 is impervious to the Warehouse Mark VIII e-meter.

This new mix is so good that SMERSH has already ordered 5,000 rails cars of False Data 9000 to handle Europe in its planned Spring Offensive 2018 against Scientology!

The False Data Spreader 47X is in stock and available on Amazon, at Costco, and other leading wog retailers. Psychs and other mental health professionals receive a 25% courtesy discount!

Scientology’s New Year’s Resolutions

The 100% Fully Ethical and On Source Scientologist applies KSW to his or her life and ruthlessly stamps out all sources of suppression. Are you doing your part to help Clear the Planet?

We in the Church of Scientology firmly resolve to be a fully Ideal Church in every way in 2018. We therefore make the following resolutions:

1. We will raise all prices 4000%

2. We will savagely destroy the internet and all other sources of entheta.

3. We will spy on more SP’s than ever before. We are spying on you right now.

4. We will tap the phones and hack the e-mail accounts of all SP’s.

5. We will mail COB’s Ecclesiastical Dildos to everyone we hate.

6. We will make insane videos attacking the Psychs, SMERSH, the CIA, Interpol, the Marcabs, Big Pharma, the Martians, and everyone else who is trying to stop Scientology.

7. We will erect a 1000 foot tall statue of COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige in Hollywood. This will be the tallest statue in the world.

8. Scientology Media Productions will broadcast something in 2018. We’re not sure what or where, but SMP will broadcast something. It will be much better than Leah Remini’s Emmy-winning show Scientology and the Aftermath.

9. We in RTC will immediately hand an SP Declare to any Scientology celebrity who brings Scientology into disrepute. We will no longer coddle these horrific monsters.

10. We will stop the godless Russian Communists from raiding our Orgs every other week. What the Russians call “financial crimes and fraud” we call the 100% correct application of  Scientology:

 

Scientology to Sue City of Clearwater for Eleventy Billion Dollars!

Clearwater.Land

The so-called “City of Clearwater” is a cynical wog legal fiction. Created and funded by Big Pharma only to torment, harass, and impede the progress of Scientology, Clearwater’s latest outrage occurred last evening when it’s Psych-infested city council voted 5-0 to purchase a 1.4 acre parcel of land for $4.5 million dollars. This was done for selfish motives and purely to piss off Scientology and COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige.

Mr. Miscavige had generously offered the Aquarium $15 million for this worthless piece of dirt as part of his sweeping vision to create a 21st century Downtown Clearwater. But no, the fix was in: The wholetrack SP criminals at the Aquarium had engaged in a conspiracy with the City Council to deprive Scientology of this vitally needed piece of land. The Church of Scientology plans to sue the City of Clearwater for eleventy billion dollars. Our wog lawyers will allege that both Scientology and the citizens of Clearwater have been irreparably harmed.

COB had planned to build an Olympic-sized pool and stadium on the land. With seating for 50,000 people, the new Scientology Super Power Olympic Aquatic Center would have allowed Clearwater to bid for the 2024 Summer Olympics. However, the Psychs have now destroyed all hopes for the glory that could have been Downtown Clearwater:

Clearwater.Pool

The Scientology Super Power Olympic Aquatic Center will never be built in Clearwater thanks to the Psychs on the City Council. However, the IAS is fundraising to build this urgently needed aquatic facility in San Jacinto, California.

 

Church of Scientology Now Offering Full Refunds to Anyone Who Asks!

Not really. We’re just using clickbait to lure you here for a free ARC break repair session at Flag.

Our stat is “recover people back on the Bridge.” We need to recover you and get you back winning in session. This is an order straight from COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige.

Warning: If you don’t get your ARC breaks handled and get to Flag, then the Psychs will surely kidnap you and turn you into a zombie:

psychs-1

Scientology Fleet Admiral David Miscavige in the RTC Bunker

Scientologist Juliette Lewis Uses Psych-Funded Media to Attack Psych-Funded Media

Juliette.Lewis

Scientology thespian and rock star Juliette Lewis entertains the wog masses.

Scientology OT Juliette Lewis today used Psych-funded media to attack Psych-funded media.

Speaking to The Daily Beast, a publication wholly owned and controlled by the Psychs, Juliette Lewis revealed what actually happened when Tom Cruise was attacked way back in 2005:

Scientology OT Tom Cruise attacked by the Psych media for speaking out against Psych drugs.

Scientology OT Tom Cruise was attacked by the Psych media for speaking out against Psych drugs.

“I’’ll get all conspiratorial on you, and I’m just going to throw this out: The mainstream media is funded by pharmaceutical companies, so when you have the biggest movie star in the world at the time—Tom Cruise—coming out against anti-depressants and Ritalin and just saying, ‘Hey, why don’t you put a warning label on there?’

Captain David Miscavige is the supreme ecclesiastical leader of this sector of the galaxy.

Captain David Miscavige is the supreme ecclesiastical leader of this sector of the galaxy.

“The thing about Scientology is it is anti-drug in that you’re seeking relationship or communication tools—simple basics on how to live better. So, when Tom came out about that, I’ve never seen someone get torn down so hard, and they still brutalize him with Scientology pieces to this day. It’s a religious philosophy and self-help movement. And you’ll never see a truthful word written about it in mainstream media.”

We in RTC knew all of this in 2005 when it happened. We are, frankly speaking, rather disturbed that Juliette Lewis is such a slow student and took nine years to figure it out. Tom could have used her help way back in 2005 when he was actually being attacked.