In an attempt to punish America, North Korea arrested Scientology leader David Miscavige during his inspection tour of Scientology’s Ideal Org Pyongyang.
North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un said that America will now quickly collapse without the supremely wise guidance and leadership of the great humanitarian David Miscavige.
Asked for a comment by reporters, the US State Department replied, “North Korea apparently reads and believes Scientology’s websites to be true. This is quite comical.”
When pressed for a response to David Miscavige having been sentenced to 25 years of hard manual labor on a prison farm, a US State Department official commented that the weather in North Korea was actually rather pleasant this time of year.