Message Authorized by RTC for Broad Public Issue to all Scientologists
Xenu’s Criminal Associate Arrested
“Spacelord Xenu’s long-time criminal associate Darth Vader was arrested and taken into custody at the Scientology World Fair in Hemet,” announced International Justice Chief Mr. Ken Delusion. “Vader was spotted in the […]
Dr. Phil Interviews Scientologist Joy Villa — Or is it Joy Violence?
Dr. Phil: We have Joy Villa on the phone. In 2007 Joy was arrested and booked under California penal code 273.5(A), which is domestic violence with injury to a spouse. And yet […]
Scientology Leader David Miscavige Arrested in North Korea
In an attempt to punish America, North Korea arrested Scientology leader David Miscavige during his inspection tour of Scientology’s Ideal Org Pyongyang. North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un said that America will now […]
Alleged Domestic Terrorist Devon Newman Was Never a Scientologist!
Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion today announced that alleged domestic terrorist Devon Newman was never actually a member of the Church. “We looked everywhere,” Delusion stated, “And nowhere could we find […]
Church of Scientology Reverend Devon Newman Arrested in Plot to Kill Police Officer
We in the Church of Scientology have just received data that Scientologist Devon Newman was arrested by the Las Vegas Police Department on charges of conspiracy to commit murder, conspiracy to commit […]
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