List of Suppressive Persons:
- Scientology’s New Protection Services Keep Scientologists Safe!
- Scientology Announces Recall of OT III’s
- David Miscavige for President in 2020
- The Watchtower Bible & Scientology Society
- Scientology Leader David Miscavige: Wild Card Last Minute Nominee for US Supreme Court!
- Scientology Erects Safety Fences Around All Orgs to Protect Scientologists
- Allen Stanfield aka Alanzo Has a Serious Medical Condition!
- Scientologist Don Dissemination Robs Banks to Pay for his Bridge & IAS Statuses — Part II
- Scientologist Don Dissemination Robs Banks to Pay for his Bridge & IAS Statuses
- Archeo-Scientologists Discover an Intact 75-Million Year Old Spaceplane!
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Tag Archives: tax exempt fraudImage
We in the Church of Scientology firmly resolve to be a fully Ideal Church in every way in 2018. We therefore make the following resolutions:
1. We will raise all prices 4000%
2. We will savagely destroy the internet and all other sources of entheta.
3. We will spy on more SP’s than ever before. We are spying on you right now.
4. We will tap the phones and hack the e-mail accounts of all SP’s.
5. We will mail COB’s Ecclesiastical Dildos to everyone we hate.
6. We will make insane videos attacking the Psychs, SMERSH, the CIA, Interpol, the Marcabs, Big Pharma, the Martians, and everyone else who is trying to stop Scientology.
7. We will erect a 1000 foot tall statue of COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige in Hollywood. This will be the tallest statue in the world.
8. Scientology Media Productions will broadcast something in 2018. We’re not sure what or where, but SMP will broadcast something. It will be much better than Leah Remini’s Emmy-winning show Scientology and the Aftermath.
9. We in RTC will immediately hand an SP Declare to any Scientology celebrity who brings Scientology into disrepute. We will no longer coddle these horrific monsters.
10. We will stop the godless Russian Communists from raiding our Orgs every other week. What the Russians call “financial crimes and fraud” we call the 100% correct application of Scientology:
“COB today congratulated Scientology phony PR front group STAND for reaching a milestone of 10,000 fake members,” Ken Delusion announced.
“These mocked up Scientologists now outnumber real Scientologists,” Delusion noted. “Which goes to show that Scientologists can create new and better realities, get the best parking spots, put out intention beams to get green lights at intersections, and postulate new Scientology parishioners where none actually exist.”
“It’s not fraud, it’s OT Magic!” enthused Delusion.
“And thanks to a new IAS grant, STAND can now purchase another 10,000 stock photos to use as STAND members. It really is straight up and vertical expansion in Scientology,” Delusion rhapsodized, his eyes glazed over and his smile fixed as if he were in another of his phantasmagorical and maniacal trances.
Public health authorities today ordered the Church of Scientology rushed to the Emergency Room following Scientology’s prolonged two-week bout of projectile vomiting on Twitter. Blood tests revealed the presence of the deadly virus Cultus Hystericus.
“Scientology is a both a public nuisance and a public health hazard,” said Dr. Metah Bolic of the Hollywood Religious Hospital. “The Centers for Disease Control alerted us after counting 22,132 instances of Scientology projectile vomiting tweets on Twitter. These repetitive tweets attack a television show the Scientology Cult is obsessed about and unable to control.”
“In the same way wolves urinate on trees to mark their territory, Scientology is projectile vomiting tweets on Twitter in an attempt to mark what it believes to be its territory. This behavior is characteristic of the Cultus Hystericus virus, a virus caused by the fatal brain parasite Lunaticae Miscavigus.
“This strain of virus cannot be treated by antibiotics,” Dr. Metah Bolic stated. “This particularly destructive virus can only be treated with Reason, but Scientology has a DNA defect that renders it impervious to Reason. The only real solution is to surgically remove Scientology’s IRS tax exemption.”