Tag Archives: OTIX

Scientology TV Features World’s First OTX Completion!

We in RTC are pleased to announced that Marshall Herff Applewhite, leader of the Heaven’s Gate Church, is the world’s first OTX completion.

When asked by Scientology TV to comment, Applewhite enthused, “I completed both OTIX and OTX in a state exterior from the body; it helped that I had dropped the body back in 1997 after drinking a phenobarbital and vodka cocktail. That drink is almost as yummy as Vistaril, but I digress.

“I did OTIX and OTX at the Van Allen Radiation Belt Org (VARBO).

“They say Flag is the Mecca of Technical Perfection, but I say doing OTIX and OTX exterior from the body at VARBO is sooooo… WOW! Those levels just blow you a million light years out of your head! It’s like KAPOW!

“The meter literally blew up and fell off the table dozens of times. I was having cognition after cognition after cognition. It’s just so… WOW! Just WOW! All I can say is get arrived at VARBO to do OTIX and OTX!

“And thank you to COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige who makes the Church of Scientology possible!”

The Release of OTIX and OTX Announced!

“And now you know the rest of the story.” explained Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Project Mouse Table was needed for COB to actually write down the numbers involved in OTIX and OTX, numbers so large that, even when written with his tiny fists of fury, the numbers stretched from Int Base to Enoch, Utah. And hence, the world’s longest and costliest mouse table at $890,000,000 has done its duty. COB’s mighty Mouse Table is being laser sawed into one foot sections (1/3 of a meter) and sold along with official RTC burlwood pens to IAS members for a donation of $5,000,000 and a special ‘IAS COB Mouse Table Patron Gloria in Excelsis Deo’ status — a status already achieved by OT’s Bromantica Bob Duggan and Grant Cardone.”

“COB RTC announced today that OTIX and OTX can only be delivered in a special entheta-free underwater city. The FUNDRAISE begins now for the new Super OT Underwater City, an ambitious program requiring massive wherewithal.”

Underwater.City

And of course, what else is needed is to create the new and fully embracive 115 volume edition of the OTIX and OTX library on nuclear proof titanium plates and then build new nuclear proof vault in which to house them. Only once these materials are made safe may their release be contemplated — and then again only to those Scientologists who have completed their new GAT II Bridge up to OTVIII and have reached IAS Platinum Chrome Cheeseburger status.

OT IX and OT X to be Released Soon!

DM.23“COB will soon release OT IX and OT X,” enthused Dr. Frank Wonderman, the Executive Director of OT Nirvana Services at Flag Land Base.

“And by way of lifting the curtain on Eternity to give Scientology parishioners a sneak peak at these miraculous levels, COB has authorized me to share the following:

OT IX: Freedom and the Ability to Serve. On this level, a being discovers that Truth is the freedom and ability to serve the most Ethical Group on the Planet, the Church of Scientology. New OT IX’s therefore sign a 5 year staff contract. While on staff, OT’s are subjected to brutal work conditions, sleep deprivation, screaming, and, yes, routine “POW!* ecclesiastical beatings that they deserve and, factually, pulled in.”

Staff1“Not to feed future staff members a cog, but the EP of OT IX involves going into the valence of a criminal suppressive, going PTS Type III, and then blowing staff in order to make COB and the Church wrong.

 

“And yet, as we have pointed out in Why Do You Hate COB? the only reason anyone hates COB is because they secretly hate themselves.”

Helios  Vol. 11  No. 110  October, 1962  25“Therefore, OT IX is about discovering the Self-Hate that lies hidden at the very bottom — and indeed it is the reason for amnesia on the wholetrack: The thetan does not want to know that he hates himself.”

“Thus, he mocks up an aberrated forgettingness, calls it amnesia, and then promptly attacks COB and the Church of Scientology — and this Self-Hatred is what is actually hidden underneath the internet in Node 666.”

“Hence, when one attains the EP of OT IX they are in a DANGER ZONE!”

“And this is why,” Dr. Wonderman emphasized, “All new and existing staff members must sign the new Non-Disparagement Agreement whereby they agree not to disparage COB, the Church, or the Founder when they attain the EP of OT IX and blow.

“Properly understood, the new Non-Disparagement Agreement is purely designed to keep OT IX’s safe from being declared SP’s when they are in the DANGER ZONE between OT IX and OT X.”

“Thus, OT IX is actually completed when a person leaves the Danger Zone by cogniting and attesting as follows:

* The beatings, regging, and apparent cruelty of the COB and the Church were simply dramatic and vivid spiritual teaching devices designed to so completely blow a person out of case that they realize they hate themselves. Therefore, Truth Realized: They hate COB because they secretly hate themselves.

* Are ready to stop making COB and the Church wrong.

*Are ready to return to the Church, do A-E, and donate to the IAS and Ideal Orgs in such abundance and  heroic magnitudes as to go crazy.

* Are willing and financially able to do OT X: “Going All In” For Eternity!

“We are very excited by OT IX and OT X and what it means to every Scientologist in good standing with the Church.”