Tag Archives: Golden Age of Tech Phase II

Dave’s Org now open in Clearwater!

techFollowing a surprise tech inspection of Flag Service Organization, we in RTC have cancelled all FSO certs. We have additionally bypassed the negligent criminal management in CSI and have accordingly revoked all FSO licenses to use any Scientology technology.

These drastic actions were taken when FSO was found to be guilty of thousands of instances of gross Out Tech. Overt FSO products include hundreds of  so-called OT’s who have had to re-do TR’s & Objectives! This is a thing that should not be, and yet, incredibly, it is true!

Given Flag’s decertification as a Scientology church for an indefinite period of time, we in RTC would be remiss in our stewardship of the Tech if we left Flag course rooms and auditing rooms setting empty — this as they were under the now declared former management of Flag. We in RTC refuse, per policy, to punish upstat Scientologists because FSO went criminal.

cropped-david-miscavige-freewinds-event.jpgTherefore, effective immediately, and in honor of COB, FSO has been renamed “Dave’s Org.”

Dave’s Org delivers 100% RTC-certified STANDARD TECH using the astonishingly precise Ultra Mark VIII meter. In honor of this monumental event, COB has declared all GAT II arbitraries cancelled! There has never been a better time to rocket up your Bridge than right now this very minute at Dave’s Org, the friendliest place on the planet!



Dave’s Org accepts cash, checks, and credit cards. Please make all monetary instruments payable to David Miscavige S.A. of Panama. No warranties are implied or given. All SP’s found on the premises will be beaten and then bodily ejected into the back alley. No refunds. All disputes are subject to Panamanian law and may only be settled using fisticuffs and baseball bats on a seaworthy vessel sailing a southerly course in international waters. Said vessel shall have a pitiless crew of convicted felons willing to fully assist whichever party brings more cash,  gold, and rum to the fight.

David Miscavige Declared God!

King.DavidCOB RTC David Miscavige tonight declared himself God.

The new Civilization has begun. You will be contacted shortly by the Church of Scientology about your duties and obligations to God.

In the meantime, worship and tribute in the form of your entire net worth and assets are demanded.

God’s first act of Divine Judgment will be to destroy the internet using His Super Powers.

Accordingly, we request that you unplug all of your computers and other digital devices as they too will be destroyed by God pouring out his Divine Wrath against all bitter defrocked apostates, critics, skeptics, and haters.

You had your chance to repent and now you have lost it. You will be sent to various implant stations once God causes all you to simultaneously drop your bodies at 2:00 PM next Thursday, November 21, 2013.

We in RTC to Mike Rinder: You Can’t “Schedule” Historical World Changing Events!

Mike Rinder is a bitter defrocked apostate who use to work for the Church of Scientology. We in RTC don’t know what Mr. Rinder did for the Church as we have nothing, nada, zilch to do with the daily operations of the Church. Our only concerns are ecclesiastical you see.

In any case, Mr. Rinder has been attacking COB RTC David Miscavige for what he perceives to be Mr. Miscavige’s utter inability to set a firm date for the launch of GAT II. Rinder tries to create the impression that COB is incapable, evasive, hobbled by enormous legal problems, or has no actual product to launch.


COB RTC David Miscavige opens the new Ideal RPF Slave Camp #17 in Siberia. Designed to physically brutalize and reeducate errant Sea Org members, Slave Camp #17 will make the Hole look like Disneyland!

But look at the fallacy in Rinder’s argument. GAT II will be such an enormously historical and world changing event that the Gregorian calendar itself will be replaced in favor of the COB calendar which begins in 1960 when the Savior COB was born this lifetime.

“You can’t just willy-nilly schedule such historical and world-changing events,” declared Dr. Mike Marmot of Freedom Magazine. “To expect GAT II to be given a firm and definite launch date is like saying that WW III should be firmly scheduled ahead of time so that people can save money by purchasing airplane tickets in advance!”

“That is such stupidly ridiculous Wog think!” Marmot exclaimed.

“Events such as GAT II occur in ways beyond our control and have an inscrutable logic. Because he is such a big being, only COB alone understands when GAT II should be launched,” Marmot declared.

“Moreover, it is not just the date that matters, but the exact hour and minute matter as well. For this reason, Mr. Miscavige is consulting with his personal astrologer Jyotisha-Vastu to determine the exact day, hour, and minute for the propitious launch of GAT II.”

“The exact day, hour, and minute of the launch of GAT II will be announced only after  Jyotisha-Vastu calculates the most favorable alignment of the planets in relationship to Flag Land Base,” Marmot said by way of summarizing in order to conclude.


Vedic astrologer Jyotisha-Vastu is assisting COB RTC David Miscavige in determining the exact moment to launch GAT II.

Dr. Benway Treats David Miscavige

Surgery Dr. Benway was methodically scooping David Miscavige’s brain out of his skull with a melon baller.

“I’ve  just finished removing your prefrontal lobes. How do you feel now Mr. Miscavige?”

“I feel very good. Please continue.”

“Very well. I am now removing your medulla oblongata and will then proceed to your hippocampus. Would you like a sandwich?”

“No thank you Doctor,” David Miscavige replied, “I had lunch before the procedure.”

“Say, Dr. Benway, did I tell you that Super Power and GAT II, did I tell you that both of those rundowns are crap? They’re a disaster! Both need years of debugging, there’s not enough staff… Flag is years and years away from being able to launch either of them. I blame it all on the pie-faced fuck-ups on my lines…”

“Yes, you told me all of this Mr. Miscavige. And this is why you wanted me to remove your brain so you can forget it all.”

“What was that blue flash?” Mr. Miscavige queried.

“The blue flash was your brain stem being scooped out. That’s it. Your brain is gone. How do you feel now Mr. Miscavige?”

“Why I feel great! In fact, this is the first time in thirty or forty years I’ve actually been in a good mood. I feel clear. And, moreover, which is to say, then again, my dear Dr. Benway, I’ve just had a cog that I’ve incessantly been mocking up being ‘COB RTC’ and that I went very solid on that identity and created overt products. But it wasn’t me doing it. It was someone else. I was being someone else.”

“I see,” Dr. Benway said as he grimly stroked his chin with his thumb and forefinger in the way doctors do just before delivering the bad news.

“Mr. Miscavige, I’m afraid I have bad news, ” Dr. Benway said by way of diagnosis. “I need to go back into your skull to see if I missed any of your brain. This sort of major cognition isn’t ordinarily supposed to occur following full brain removal.”

“But I feel great and want to end the procedure now!” Mr. Miscavige protested.

“David,” Dr. Benway sternly intoned, “You know this is not allowed here. You’re not allowed to C/S my work like you do to everyone in your so-called Church of Scientology!”

With that rebuke stinging in his ears, David Miscavige awoke in his bed at Flag Land Base. What a strange dream he thought as he lit up a cigarette.

“Messenger!” he screamed as he began his day.