In response to a recent survey of Scientology parishioners, COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige has ordered all Ideal Orgs to install for-pay toilet paper dispensers. This will allow Scientologists to purchase either […]
“As we are assembled here today to celebrate the epic accomplishments of the last many decades of time which are but a brief breath in eternity, we pause to take note that, […]
Tucker Carlson Attacked by Demon; Scientology Diagnoses the Attack and Offers to Help
Kim Kardashian failed her bar exam because she failed to complete a course in L. Ron Hubbard Study Technology,
Big Pharma Executive Passes Out in the White House. Scientology Rejoices!
COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige Delivers an Epic 5 Hour Speech at the IAS Gala 2025!
Because wogs (non-Scientologists) are incredibly stupid, Scientology is distributing 100 million free coat hangers to the world’s 15 continents. These coat hangers warn wogs to not swallow coat hangers. “Do not swallow […]
Date: 4th Day of the Roswell Galactic Cycle 78From: US Space Force, Directorate of Extraterrestrial Operations, Interagency Task Force 812To: Cleared Recipients per Distribution List Subject: Demand from the US Senate Select […]
Waiver of All Rights (Known and Unknown)
By signing, the parishioner surrenders not only their civil rights, but also their air rights, mineral rights, and eternal rights in all galaxies. Retroactive waivers apply to past lives as well.
Scientology global ecclesiastical leader David Miscavige became apoplectic today upon learning that the Secret Service had tossed several bags of Scientology books out of a second-story White House window. The Secret Service […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 