Tag Archives: Stacy Francis

Sizzling Summer Scientology Bonus Offers!

Special Scientology Bonus Offers:

1. Prepay for your OT levels today and receive 250,000 free fake Twitter followers! You can be a theetie-wheetie dilettante public Scientologist with lots of fake followers just like Joy Villa or Stacy Francis!

You can use your fake followers to attack “that show” on “that network” by “her.”

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2. If you’re an OT and you join staff you’ll receive 2,500,000 free fake Twitter followers! Imagine the impact you can have on Scientology’s fourth dynamic salvage campaigns with that many fake followers!

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David Miscavige: Scientology is in a SERIOUS CRISIS and Needs More Money Now!

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“Scientology is in a SERIOUS CRISIS and needs more money now!” brayed COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige at the Maiden Beating Event.

“Never in the entire agonized history of this planet has Scientology ever been in a more SERIOUS CRISIS. Never has Scientology ever needed money like it needs now!”

When asked what the SERIOUS CRISIS was, Mr. Miscavige would only say that it was an unspecified serious crisis that could, if given sufficient money, be resolved by next Thursday at 2:00PM.

After COB’s announcement of the dire and unspecified crisis, Scientology OT’s retired to the ballroom and gorged themselves on lobster, steak, shrimp, baked goods, pies, cakes, champagnes, cognacs, fine wines, rich chocolate deserts, and creamy white cake with buttercream frosting. Newly-minted Clear Stacy Francis regaled the crowd with her musical stylings some have compared to Yoko Ono.