Tag Archives: SOLO NOTS

Scientology Flag Land Base Adjusts Its Expectations

“In view of the massive statcrash of the past decade, Flag Land Base has adjusted its expectation for SOLO NOTs,” said Captain FLB Stayta Kleer.

“500 on SOLO NOTs is attainable. We only need 372 more people to reach our goal. As an incentive, the tech estimate for six month refreshers has been lowered to $60,000; unless of course sec checking reveals hidden crimes or evil purposes. If such things are found — and they most likely will be given the ‘Ethics bait OT’s’ out there — then the tech estimate will soar to $1,000,000 or higher. We at Flag Land Base simply cannot guarantee anything until you are actually arrived.”

RTC Issues Warning: Don’t Solo Audit While Driving!

Solo

“The gruesome photo says it all: New OT VII Rod Black of Los Angeles Model Ideal Org #129 was driving while solo auditing.”

Gloria Maddox, Senior C/S WUS

“He pulled it in, I mean, his being decapitated,” said Senior C/S WUS Gloria Maddox.

“But you can’t really blame Rod for losing his head because he was getting so many gigantic and monster blowout wins on OT VII with his new Planetary Dissemination Ultra Mark VIII e-meter.”

“Nevertheless, and moreover to prevent a contagion of such sudden and euphoric exteriorizations in the future, COB RTC David Miscavige today issued a new policy forbidding solo auditing while operating any motor vehicle, boat, submersible, or any horse-drawn conveyances such as stagecoaches or wagons.”

“With 105,000,000 people now on SOLO NOTs, the planetary conditions are changing for the better dramatically. We can’t afford to lose any SOLO auditors who are the backbone of planetary clearing.”