Tag Archives: A&E
COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige never recovered from Scientology and the Aftermath. He quickly began to pack on weight during the second season. For dinner, COB would often eat 2-3 hams, an entire turkey, mashed potatoes and 3 chocolate cakes. His breakfast was a 12-egg cheese omelet with one dozen slices each of French toast, waffles, and pancakes to which he would add a mountain of bacon and sausage. Lunch was 23 cheeseburgers, onion rings, fries, and ten ice cream sundaes. Snacks were several bags of Doritos, pickled pigs feet, sweetbreads, gallons of Mountain Dew, and several dozen assorted donuts. And of course COB was always smoking Camel cigarettes.
COB developed odd affectations. He built a monocle with a long stem from black pipe cleaners. Although the monocle had no lens, COB would often close one eye and pretend to closely inspect objects with his monocle. Some of the objects he inspected did not exist and yet he claimed them to be invisible and that only he could see them. COB took to wearing a battered old top hat and great coat and wandering the streets. He wore a pocket watch and would often stop to check the time on Mars. He refused to bathe except on the second Tuesday of each month.
Local packs of wild dogs, for Downtown Clearwater had become a ghost town by this time, would nip and bite at his swollen ankles and distended belly. COB claimed to the remaining 200 Scientologists that the greatest time in Scientology’s history was soon to come when a new e-meter that was actually a time machine would take the entire Church of Scientology back to the time of George Washington. During his short walks on the beach at low tide the seagulls would peck at him. He would flail at them with his cane and claim they were Marcabs. Danny Sherman was COB’s constant and faithful companion and assured him this was all quite true.
Scientologist OT7 Richard “Big Dick” Bongo warns SP’s to shut the hell up and stop talking about Scientology and the Aftermath or he will make them shut up!
“I’m goddamn sick and tired of hearing about this show,” exclaimed Big Dick Bongo. “And yeah, I know the show won an Emmy but so what? Those faggots in Hollywood make an Emmy sound like it’s some kind of big deal. Well it’s not! And for the record I’d rather have my e-meter than an Emmy!”
Posted in OTVIIIisGrrr8!
Tagged A&E, Big Dick Bongo, church of scientology, Emmy, Leah Remini, OT, OT7, OTVIII, Richard Big Dick Bongo, Scientology and the Aftermath, SP's, Suppressive Persons
Scientology is on lockdown as Hurricane Leah makes landfall tonight on A&E. Scientology and the Aftermath.
“COB RTC has issued a global disconnection order for Tuesday August 15, 2017,” announced Church spokesman Mr. Ken Delusion. “All Scientologists globally are ordered to disconnect from WiFi, cable, satellite dishes and all types of antennae capable of receiving the television show Scientology and the Aftermath.
“Scientologists are further ordered to unplug and store all devices capable of receiving broadcast signal. This includes computers, cell phones, tablets, televisions, radios, and all electronic gizmos, doodads, gimcracks, gee gaws, thingamabobs, thingamajigs, whatchamacallits, gadgets, idiot boxes, or any other widgets or contraptions capable of conducting electrons and emitting sound or visio. This is a total ban on all electron-powered doohickeys. There is to be no cheating upon pain of death.”
“Any Scientologist caught watching Leah or even ‘sneaking a peek’ this coming Tuesday August 15th will be dealt with by use of ecclesiastical thumbscrews, the rack, and so forth and so on. As Marcellus Wallace said in Pulp Fiction, COB says to all Scientologists, ‘I’m going to go medieval on your ass!’ This is your last and final warning to not watch Scientology and the Aftermath!” Delusion darkly intoned after which he pronounced dire Black Scientology voodoo curses upon the Psychs, the ASC, Henry Kissinger, and a long list of other SP’s who bedevil Scientology and all that is holy.