OTVIIIisGrrr8!

An Apparition of LRH Miraculously Appears in the Decon 7 Fog

While decontaminating an ordinary wog church in Hollywood with Decon 7, Sea Org member Ricardo Echevarria was stunned to see an apparition of L. Ron Hubbard appear in the Decon 7 fog.

On hand to witness the divine apparition was a Scientology TV film crew. “It was a miracle, a sure sign that Ron is omnipresent and watching out for us,” exclaimed Echevarria. “When I saw LRH my back was spontaneously healed of the pain I’ve been in since I fell off my top bunk and onto the concrete floor!”

Several members of the Scientology film crew testified that they too were healed of various conditions including blindness, rickets, scurvy, head lice, and demonic possession. The Church of Scientology immediately purchased the church building and declared it Scientology’s first official Holy Shrine.

Pontiff David Miscavige has ordered all Scientologists globally to make a mandatory ten day pilgrimage to the new L. Ron Hubbard Shrine in Hollywood. Travel packages begin at $85,000 and include accommodations and meals at the Celebrity Centre. Scientologists are expected to flock by the millions to the Shrine in hopes of being cured of their various ailments, illnesses, injuries, and old age afflictions which auditing cannot resolve.

4 replies »

  1. Will this apparition cure David Miscavige of his chronic addition to onanism? His addition to cigarettes and liquor? His apparent need to beat his slaves (staff/Sea Org)?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. “Several members of the Scientology film crew testified that they too were healed of various conditions including… demonic possession.”

    Good one!

    “The Church of Scientology immediately purchased the church building and declared it Scientology’s first official Holy Shrine.”

    Too bad the Dwarfenfuer didn’t call this an Ideal Shrine.

    Like

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