“Big Pharma will spend $11.25 billion in advertising in 2021,” Scientology TV CEO Ken Delusion explained. “And given the massive statcrash we at Scientology TV have experienced since the day we first began broadcasting, we cannot continue to refuse advertising dollars from Big Pharma.”
“What pushed us over the cliff on this issue was the IAS informing us last week that it will no longer subsidize our dull line up of Scientology programs followed by more Scientology programs. That was a real kick in teeth,” Delusion stated. “Without IAS money Scientology TV is insolvent.”
“Because the IAS is a legally separate corporation from the Church of Scientology there is no one to whom we can complain. Whereupon, in order to survive, Scientology TV is now accepting Big Pharma ads. COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige agrees that Scientology TV should take a slice of the Big Pharma advertising pie,” Delusion emphasized.
“Our first Big Pharma ad campaign begins running this week. The ad will feature a Psych drug targeted specifically at both wogs and Scientologists:
Categories: OTVIIIisGrrr8!
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 
Side effects include: Constipation, nausea, flatulence, dry mouth, abdominal cramp, colic, vomiting, meteorism, abdominal pain, Abdominal discomfort, abdominal pain upper, dyspepsia, Ileus (including paralytic ileus), megacolon (including toxic megacolon), abdominal distension, Headache, dizziness, Somnolence, Loss of consciousness, stupor, depressed level of consciousness, hypertonia, coordination abnormality, Syncope, Death, tiredness, Hypersensitivity reaction, anaphylactic reaction (including anaphylactic shock), anaphylactoid reaction, QT/QTc prolongation, Torsades de Pointes, other ventricular arrhythmias, cardiac arrest, Rash, Bullous eruption (including Stevens-Johnson syndrome, toxic epidermal necrolysis, and erythema multiforme), angioedema, urticaria, pruritus, Urinary retention, Ocular, Miosis
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To clarify: The massive side effects listed above are the side effects of the Scientology as delivered at Flag.
The side effects of Fuckitol are absolutely not giving a shit about anything and still feeling good about life. This is the blissful indifference of Buddhism in a pill.
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Mr. Delusion: drop me a discreet line care of the Wowie-Zowie Cheap Thrill Pill Dispensary (David Miscavige will know the address, since we have been supplying his bulk steroids, botox, minoxidil, and amphetamines for years) where you might just learn something to your advantage.
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Dear Dr. Strabismus of Utrecht: A telex has been sent to the Wowie-Zowie Cheap Thrill Pill Dispensary.
COB’s very dear actor friend wants to be begin an LSD microdose treatment. Is that unusual nurse of yours available for discreet late night house calls?
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Would that be Nurse Tsai-Chin Proutley or Naughty Night Nurse Catheter?
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I think he wants Nurse Ana L. Swizzlelick…
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Don’t forget COB David Miscavige’s favorite drug: BUTT POLISH!
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Whenever Canada’s federal government promises universal medication coverage (the last such promise was made following the last election, October 2019) the pharmaceutical industry reacts with threats of abandoning their Canada-based research and development, etcetera, if the government goes ahead with its ‘pharmacare’ plan. Why? Because the universal medication coverage would negatively affect the industry’s plentiful profits.
Once again promised universal medication coverage was conspicuously yet quietly missing from the federal budget, released a couple weeks ago. Thus we continue being the world’s sole nation that has universal healthcare but no similar coverage of prescribed medication, however necessary.
Recouping R&D costs is often cited by the powerful industry to justify its exorbitant prices and resistance to universal medication coverage public plans. However, according to a Huffington Post story (“Pharmaceutical Companies Spent 19 Times More On Self-Promotion Than Basic Research: Report,” updated May 8, 2013), a study conducted by the British Medical Journal found that for every $19 dollars the pharmaceutical industry spent on promoting and marketing new drugs, it put only $1 into its R&D.
A late-2019 Angus Reid study found that, over the previous year, due to medication unaffordability, about a quarter of Canadians decided against filling a prescription or having one renewed. Not only is medication less affordable, but many low-income outpatients who cannot afford to fill their prescriptions end up back in the hospital system as a result, therefore costing far more for provincial and federal government health ministries than if the medication had been covered. So, in order for the industry to continue raking in huge profits, Canadians, as both individual consumers and a taxpaying collective, must lose out huge. And our elected representatives, be they federal Liberals or Conservatives, seem to shrug their figurative shoulders in favor of the pharmaceutical industry — yet again.
Considering it is such a serious health affair for so many people, impressed upon me is the industry lobbyists’ potent influence on our top-level elected officials for the sake of large profit-margin interests.
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