“Wogs are unbelievably stupid and incapable,” said Ken Delusion, Executive Director of Scientology Public Safety Programs. “Only we in Scientology know how to do anything. We are the experts on the mind, on the right way to clean windows, and so on and so forth.”

“Wogs don’t even know how to properly wash their hands. Wog stupidity is the reason why we in Scientology printed and distributed millions of booklets instructing people how to properly wash their hands, how to wear masks and gloves, and how to engage in social distancing.”

“As part of our expanded public safety program, we in Scientology are distributing ten million coat hangers that warn people not to swallow coat hangers. The coat hangers bear the Scientology name to remind wogs that we are their friends. We’re doing this because we care and you’re welcome,” Delusion stated with his chirpy trademark Tone 40 certainty.