OTVIIIisGrrr8!

Robert Kraft’s Economy Hand Job Emporium

“The answer is money,” L. Ron Hubbard remarked. “And so the Scientologist needs to increase his necessity level and you know… a thetan can actually mock up money… can create money… can open up money flows.

“What a working stiff doesn’t want to do is to waste his money on high-priced call girls. This wasteful practice leaves him no money to spend on Scientology.

“Reminds me of a rather inventive fellow named Robert Kraft in Florida who saw a need for a money saving 2D experience. And why he got himself very busy, ahhh, very busy indeed and created a chain of stores in Miami, somewhere around there, and he called each of them Robert Kraft’s Economy Hand Job Emporium because that’s what the locals want: A cheap thrill.

“Robert Kraft says a guy doesn’t get rich paying for high priced working girls, that busy executives like him want to get in and out of a hand job parlor in fifteen minutes for $59.95 plus a tip… This leaves more money to pay those big NFL salaries and to pay for one’s Scientology Bridge.

“Robert Kraft’s lawyer Shady Jack Mormon, another Scientologist down there in Palm Beach is certain to get Bob Kraft off with a hand slap, basically a $50 fine to pay there in the local court house.  This small imbroglio will have a happy ending. It always does when a fellow has a few billion dollars in the bank.”

4 replies »

  1. I had no idea that NFL owner Bob Kraft was a Scientologist, but there are so many of us these days it’s hard to keep track of all the cool people who are members of the world’s coolest religion.

    Reading between the lines though, I think Bob is fairly new to the Bridge to Total Freedom. Surely he will leave behind the necessity to patronize these lucrative handjob emporiums when he diligently progresses on his path to spiritual freedom and finally gets to the vaunted Solo Courses. It is on the Solo Courses that a Thetan can handle any “job” by themselves rather than rely on the assistance of an Auditor. In fact it is encouraged that one handle their “case” as much as possible and as often as possible. This really frees up ones time to flow more money to the IAS whereby one can truly achieve the case gain by “giving it all” in every sense of the word.

    Like

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