STAND League Member Ed Parkin Disguises Himself as Mr. Peanut

Image by Mark

We in the Scientology Office of Special Affairs have disguised our low IQ colleague Ed Parkin as Mr. Peanut. We have done this because the real Mr. Peanut  attacked the Church of Scientology during last weekend’s Super Bowl Twitter insanity.

Only haters and bigots fueled by Psych drugs would attack Scientology which is humanity’s only hope of salvation.

Therefore, while disguised as Mr. Peanut, we will have Ed commit various crimes for which the real Mr. Peanut will be arrested and imprisoned. We in Scientology are not the police but we are slowly teaching the unholy a lesson: Fuck with us and we will destroy you.

4 responses to “STAND League Member Ed Parkin Disguises Himself as Mr. Peanut

  1. I love peanuts & now this Edwin Parkin interloper has gone and snatched Mr, Peanuts Nut body and swooped down to inhabit it! Well, Mr Fake Nut I happen to know where there is an infinitely Huge nutcracker & if that does not finish you in the immortal words of Firesign Theater “ Don’t crush that dwarf ( peanut ) , hand me the pliers “! Lol XXOO OT8😍

    Liked by 2 people

  2. “low IQ colleague” They in RTC are being much too generous!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. The last laugh will be on OSA, since Ed the Lunkhead’s costume is in fact a deformed raw cashew still in its shell: now any potential victims will be forewarned by a sudden onset of itching — as well as the dull droning noise he’s always emitted.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ed Parkin has been eating rice and beans for months. As a consequence, Ed has been farting in his peanut costume at a prodigious rate. He is now quite bloated, corpulent, and reeks of his noxious sulfurous emissions.

    Liked by 2 people

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