Attn Scientologists: The “Religious Bigotry” Emergency Alarm Button is Now Available: Get It, Use It!

Emergency.Button

“With anti-religious bigots running loose everywhere across the world, all Scientologists are expected to buy and use the new religious bigotry alarm button,” said Rev. Ken Delusion, Director of Religious Bigotry Prevention for Scientology.

“Whenever a Scientologists sees even the faintest sign of religious bigotry, he or she is expected to push the religious bigotry button over and over and over until the religious bigotry ends. The piercing 150 decibel siren on the emergency button will deafen religious bigots!

“It is only by being loud and shrill for all of eternity that we in Scientology can end  religious bigotry,” declared Rev. Delusion.

“In the meantime we must pray to a higher power that all of the anti-religious bigots will meet a horror-filled and awful fate; perhaps they will all be drowned in a global flood while we remain safe on the Scientology Org-Ark!”

Ark

4 responses to “Attn Scientologists: The “Religious Bigotry” Emergency Alarm Button is Now Available: Get It, Use It!

  1. At first I thought that the Religious Bigotry Alarm was a great idea. Now I’m not sure. I had my RTC approved RBA with me when I was on course last night. I was listening to my materials (GAT II, semi-colon free, ClearSound tapes of course), dictionary and demo kit at the ready, and without thinking I slammed my candy-grabber down on the alarm button. I should have known that LRH would not have uttered anything smacking of religious bigotry, but I just had a knee jerk reaction when I heard him trash talking some perverted R-6 implant fake religion. I should be back on course in a couple of weeks after I finish up another set of lowers and make an adequate donation to the IAS. Next time, I’ll just take a deep breath, count to ten then look up enough words so that I am able to agree with the sacred utterances of the Founder. Scientology is a lot cheaper that way.

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  2. RTC has been researching a mobile RBA Android capable of being placed in airports, street corners, and other public places. The clip below is of three of our early models equipped with a very limited vocabulary and overall appearance which would not fool too many people as fully human.

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  3. RTC Trials of mobile RBA Androids:

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  4. Inspired by the success of the bigotry button, COB has created a special “Beating NOW” button. He presses this button before he beats a Sea Org or staff slave, and the noise produced by the button covers up their cries of pain during the beating.

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