Dear Bob Jr.,
You father Bob Sr. attended a Scientology event in 1952 at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles where he purchased a copy of Dianetics. Our records indicate that he never returned our endless four decades of phone calls, letters, and magazines. Bob Sr. dropped his body in 1991 without so much as a thank you for our unsparing efforts to save his soul for a bargain price of only $360,000.00 USD.
Bob, Scientology was very important to your father in 1952 and so it should be important to you. However, our records show you have never had any contact with Scientology whatsoever.
Bob make your late father proud and purchase a Scientology library today. Let’s do this the easy way. Call us with a credit card. Don’t make us come to your house.
Love,
Brenda Bahlbraker
Letter Reg
Church of Scientology Los Angeles
Categories: OTVIIIisGrrr8!
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 
I have done plenty of work in Central Files and I have also written plenty of letters as a Letter Reg for my beloved church. I don’t mean to be critical or nattery or anything like that, but it seems to me that Ms. Bahlbraker is being sort of a Miss Pattycakes in her letter writing approach. I mean it is OBVIOUS that since Bob Sr. was reaching so strongly it naturally follows that Bob Jr. would also find that Scientology is the religion for him. His eternity is at stake here and Scientology is the coolest religion on the entire whole track. Ms. Bahlbraker should have been pushing an entire OT package for Bob Jr. While she was at it, I don’t think it would be out gradient to offer Bob Jr. some real case gain by getting him signed up for an IAS membership and urging him to move up in status right away.
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My second cousin’s ex-husband’s barber’s plumber’s nephew found a half burned copy of Dianetics in 1972. Will I too be getting a letter soon?
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I confess: I used the pages of Dianetics for toilet paper., and I wrap my dog’s poop in photos of COB before discarding the poop. How much do I have to pay the IAS, to make amends?
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