Admitting that Christianity doesn’t work because it is based upon a completely false supernaturalism, Jesus Christ today cut his hair, shaved off his beard, and joined Scientology’s Sea Org.
“Scientology is based upon science,” Jesus said, “whereas Christianity is based on faith.”
“And I’ve come to realize over the past two hundred years that I need to stop with the false supernaturalism and faith stuff and follow science instead. When I read Dianetics, I realized that Scientology is the world’s only real science. That’s why I’ve joined the Sea Org.”
Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion announced that new Sea Org member Jesus Christ has been assigned to Scientology’s Ideal Pacifica Base where he will work the streets of Hollywood as a body router.