Fleet Admiral David Miscavige today issued an RTC emergency ecclesiastical decree forbidding — upon pain of torture, death, and loss of one’s eternity — any Scientologist from reading an upcoming book entitled:
Ruthless: Scientology, My Son David Miscavige, and Me
Scientology MAA’s are fanning out in force to enforce the RTC emergency ecclesiastical decree:
Scientology MAA’s will brutally enforce the RTC emergency ecclesiastical decree. There will be no mercy.
Scientology Thought Police Dictator Mr. Zeke Manson warned all Scientologists, “If you get KR’d and I find out you purchased and read this book I will personally come over to your house with my MAA’s and we will gangbang sec check you like you’ve never been gangbang sec checked before!”
Scientology Thought Police Dictator Mr. Zeke Manson
Categories: OTVIIIisGrrr8!
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 
I don’t know; a gang bang sec check with Zeke sounds like it could be a lot of fun. Will they bring lubricants, condoms, and other toys? E-meter me Zeke; you know I want it.
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So along comes some guy claiming to be COB’s father and we’re just supposed to believe it, right? Just so he can cash in by fabricating stories of COB’s ruthless insanity, sexual perversions, and physical violence? Let me guess, he’ll offer up these fake stories in exchange for real money.
Several thoughts:
First: What proof has been provided to substantiate “Ron’s” claim of being COB’s father?
Second: This reminds of the young lady a few years pretending to be COB’s niece. Didn’t she write a book too? Would n’t surprise me if she was related to this Ron guy.
Third: Lawrence Wright still claims to be COB’s son even though this is not biologically possible.
Finally, Tony Ortega claims to be COB’s twin brother even though they look nothing alike.
I think you see the pattern here. If you have a book to sell, pretend to be a relative of the world’s biggest humanitarian, Fleet Admiral David Miscaviage. .
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Captain Whostolemycog, when will finally realize how desperately a being of your talents is needed in the Sea Org? Everything you have written needs to be made known. Fake COB relatives are coming out of the woodwork!
What next? Will Tom Cruise claim to be David Miscavige’s cousin and write a book?
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COB just informed Tom Cruise the dyslexia cure did not take. He must stay away from all media in every form and come to flag, now!
Silly me, I mistook Zeke for Denise Miscavige.
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Everyone knows that Fleet Admiral and David Miscavige is way too busy SCOHB, to do the terrible things described in the book!!
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An unedited excerpt from Ron’s new book:
We had just put the finishing touches on the first sound stage at Gold Base. The Old Man was going to leave early to catch his new favorite television show: Donnie & Marie. He commented that those two were subliminally converting America’s youth into Mormons without their knowledge. Without any hesitation, I said “Hey, my twins Davy and Denise can sing, dance and bicker, we have the studio, let’s shoot a pilot!” It’s like lightning struck the Commodore between the eyes. We were to embark on the greatest dissemination project Scientology had ever seen.
When I broke the news to the kids, Dave immediately wanted to know about the singing, dancing, costume changes and if we could get Liza Minnelli as a guest? I told him we were going to try to work within our network of celebrities and he punched Denise in the face. I told Dave that even though we had great makeup artists on staff, he shouldn’t punch his sister anymore. Besides, we had a call in to John Travolta. Last year was ‘Saturday Night Fever’ and this year is ‘Grease.’ He’s the hottest movie star on the planet and was shooting a movie at the time in LA. He expressed that he was a movie star and didn’t do television. Heber told John this meant a lot to the Old Man and these two young kids could use some help. John asked “How young?” Heber said they were twins and just turned 18. At that point John said he would love to show them some moves. He had a private bungalow at the Beverly Wilshire where they could meet on Saturday afternoon.
When we arrived, John greeted us but said there was a slight change of plans. He would work with Dave here at the bungalow but his driver Bruno would take Denise and myself to work with an associate of his in Culver City. We hopped in his limo and headed across town or so I thought. After about two hours on the 405, I asked the driver if he knew where this associate was and if he knew where we were going. Bruno said something about having to pick up John’s seafood order in La Jolla and we’ll back to the Wilshire in no time.
After about five hours in the limo, we returned to the bungalow and Dave looked wore out. John must have show him every move in his repertoire. Dave could barely walk. I thanked John for the help and he apologized profusely for the communication mix up. A misunderstood word no doubt.
The drive back to Gold Base was two hours of complete silence, except for when Dave rolled down the window and would spit every five minutes.
The ‘Davy & Denise’ pilot never progresses after that road trip. I figured Dave saw how hard John works in show business and it just wasn’t for him.
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^^^ 5 minute applause and 10 Hip Hips
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