The US Department of Homeland Security today announced that actor Sean Penn flew to Curacao for a secret meeting with El Whacko the world’s most notorious ecclesiastical leader.
“El Whacko wants me to make a movie about his life,” Penn said.
“El Whacko told me he was a simple misunderstood man who lied, cheated, and stole in order to survive because there were no jobs in his homeland of Philadelphia.”
Born as David Miscavige, El Whacko is notorious for ruthlessly clawing his way to the top of the sinister organized criminal racketeering organization known as the Church of Scientology.
A high school drop out, Miscavige became a Scientology “made man” in 1978. He was given his distinctive name “El Whacko” after he destroyed a phone booth in the middle of the desert with his bare hands in 1980.
El Whacko remains at large and is believed to be hiding somewhere on a ranch in Colombia.
Categories: OTVIIIisGrrr8!
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 
El Whacko (aka Senor Dave) is suave, cunning, viscious, and a shade over five feet tall. He is famous for both his bouffant hair style and his mastery of the teleprompter. He has shown amazing resourcefullness turning bad news into fundraising opportunities.
But it his ability to bounce back time and again after being hit with debilitating defections, tidal flow losses of membership, and numerous lawsuits that led some to now refer to him as El Whacko-Mole.
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…and because Señor Dave is also cold, slimy, viscous and a shade of pale green, he is also known as “El Guacamole”.
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The all powerful El Whacko shoved a hook down scientology’s throat, gutted it and is feasting to his black heart’s desire on the flesh, blood and thetan. No big deal, it’s just #Scientology working.
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