“What was needed,” said Church spokesman Comrade Dr. Frank Wonderman, “was a tough new Watch Dog Committee (WDC) Chairman to smash in ethics on Scientologists.”
“Accordingly, the Board of Directors has appointed Holotta Delusion as the new WDC Chairman. Her main job is to ruthlessly hammer in ethics on all Scientologists and bring them back into full compliance with command intention!”
Comrade Dr. Frank Wonderman, Scientology Politeness Dictator
“Captain Delusion will locate and obliterate the rampant spectatorism that has allowed wildly suppressive activities such as Going Clear to rage uncontrolled on this planet!”
“Holotta Delusion is part of a tough new breed of Scientol0gy leadership that has been trained to instantly spot and handle any signs of disaffection, dilettantism, or defeatism!”
Captain Delusion will be merciless in rooting out and declaring all Scientologists who are found to be engaged in the following activities:
* Reading unapproved criminal websites
* Spreading or trafficking in provocative rumors about David Miscavige
* Refusing to donate sufficient sums of money so as to be in good standing with the Church
* Inquiring into the whereabouts or well-being of Sea Org member Shelly Miscavige
“COB RTC David Miscavige does not run the Church on a daily basis and has nothing to do with this ruthless new campaign of Ethics necessary to correct the Church’s departure from its previous 100% ethical condition.”
Categories: OTVIIIisGrrr8!
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 
Dear Mr. Wonderman,
I think you are on the wrong track here.Rather than smashing in ethics, how about unleashing OT powers! Everyone knows that OTs are completely aware of everything so we know that now is time to go to war. We OTs are at cause over matter, energy, space, time, life, form and thought, subjective and objective. We have the power and now is the time to unleash it.
Sure, so far we have withheld our powers because it would be too steep a gradient for dim-witted wogs to handle, but we can no longer afford to hold ourselves in check. The very existence of Scientology is at stake. This is no time to be namby pamby.
Here is what to do. Go to a location where there are lots of witnesses. Make sure that the media have been called and that there are cameras there. Then let loose your true OT powers! Levitate a car or make it disappear. Point at someone and make their head explode. Create objects out of thin air! Read people’s minds. Cure someone of a serious disease. Snap your fingers and disarm all the criminals in your city! Win the lottery again. Show these down stat wogs the power of Scientology.
Forget about ethics! The minute we show those lowlife wog nitwits what Scientology can really do, all opposition will cease and everyone would flock to our churches, clamoring for services.
So yeah, it’s time to stop pretending that we are normal human beings with no more powers or any better solutions than run of the mill wog scum. It’s time to take the gloves off and show our true powers! It’s Scientology’s last hope. We must confront and shatter those stupid SP bastards?
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Johnny L, as much as we in RTC would like to use our OT powers to smash and brutalize all of these stupid homo sap Scientology haters, we can’t until all Orgs are Ideal and there are 10,000 people on Solo NOT’s.
But to even do this requires that we first get everyone up and through the GAT II Clear level.
But to even do this requires that we first get everyone up and through the GAT II Purif.
But to even do this requires that we first get everyone up and through IAS Patron Meritorious with Crossed Swords level.
But to even do this requires that we first get everyone up and through the Super Power Cornerstone Membership level.
But to even do this requires that we first get everyone up and through the GAT II Basics on an M9 basis.
One can see the challenges we face.
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You are absolutely right OT8. We do face many challenges. I got carried away there, my bad! Who needs to demonstrate OT powers when we have all these wonderful plaques and trophies to show off. That IAS Patron Meritorious with Crossed Swords level sounds interesting. Do you have anything with eagles?
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That face…more than I can handle. Make it stop!!!
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Davis Jackinov has been a topic of conversation for nearly a year, as the church drifted aimlessly in response to Going Clear. Many speculated Davis Jackinov was the only answer.
The appointment of Holatta Delusion firmly quashes the Davis Jackinov rumour and points the church along a familiar path. With both Ken and Holatta holding key positions at the highest levels of the church, Scientology’s critical reliance on the family of Delusions has clearly never been higher.
Update – We just received word WDC Holatta (Malarkey) Delusion appointed her sister Atonna Malarkey as her communicator.
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Excellent analysis Captain Whostolemycog. Of course, we wish to emphasize that Davis Jackinov continues to play a key role in the ecclesiastical hierarchy. One of Holotta Delusion’s main duties is to ensure that Davis Jackinov has ample free time and money to fiddle while Scientology burns.
Scientologists the world over love to hear the magically meaningless fiddling of Davis Jackinov. Written by composer Danny Sherman, Davis Jackinov’s fiddle music features a dramatic, complex, and soaring structure that is, actually, 1960’s Philly lounge music with an overwrap of the hauntingly tragicomic Kafkaesque propaganda soaked in lies that is so much a part of the music of Davis Jackinov.
Sit back, pop a few pinks and grays, write a big check, and enjoy. After all, you paid for the show.
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I’m a new scientologist and I’m perusing the internet to find out as much as I can about this fantastic new religion. There’s a lot I don’t know, so can you just tell me; who is Shelly Miscavige? Or, is that one of those things I will just have to look up like I do on course when the course supervisor says, “what do your materials state?” If so, can you at least tell me where to look this up?
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You’ll learn about Shelly Miscavige when you get to the RPF’s RPF level on the Bridge.
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I remember Holatta. She’s always been known around the Int Base by her affectionate nickname, “that ho.”
Because of her memorable appearance and ruthless insistence on putting ethics in, many think that she was the inspiration for the Jack Nicholson character in The Shining. I suppose it’s possible. But I know for sure that Holatta was behind Tom Cruise’s memorable 2008 YouTube video extolling the virtues of Scientology, as well as his confronting and shattering Matt Lauer in 2005 on the dangers of psychiatry and the evils of prescription drugs. Everyone remembers Tom Cruise’s statements, “You’re glib,” and “You don’t know the history of psychiatry. I do.” Some attribute those to COB. But they originated with Holatta, who was the brains behind the media interest in Tom Cruise and Scientology starting in 2005.
I don’t think it’s too much to equate cause and effect here – Holatta’s media genius and Scientology’s 47X expansion. COB is greatly in Holatta’s debt for driving unprecedented interest in Scientology. And although COB is rightly known for his admirable frugality, one can only hope that he treated Ms. Delusion to a fine dining experience (complete with senior discount) and a Very Well Done.
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WHO IS HOLOTTA DELUSION?
Today, Fred G. Haseney, your West Coast Correspondent, reports from Scientology Incorporated’s (“SI”) West Coast headquarters, the Pacific Area Command Base (aka “PAC Base” or “Big Blue”), specifically on Captain Deluxion.
Holotta Delusion is an humanitarian, philosopher, author, and Full-Fledged Clam of the Scientology religion. She was born March 13, 1981, in Holotta, Nebraska. Her adventurous and long path to clamdom began at an early age after doctors successfully separated Holotta from her conjoined twin, Holessa…
See his full report at JennyAtLA:
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