OTVIIIisGrrr8!

Windows 8 and Microsoft Declared Suppressive Persons by the Church of Scientology

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Convinced by the slick PR lies of Microsoft, we in the Church of Scientology foolishly installed Windows 8 over our perfectly good Windows 7 OS.

We immediately realized that Windows 8 is an insane, overt, and suppressive product created by Nazi Psychiatrists bent on destroying the world.

Seriously, who except deranged Nazi Psychiatrists would get rid of the Start button and charms that make Windows 7 so easy to use?

And it only gets worse from there. Even the wog PC Magazine recognizes this fact.

Because the Church of Scientology and its front group CCHR have been so successful in exposing the deadly menace of Psych drugs, the Psychs have been losing ground in their efforts to drive the world into war, crime, and insanity by use of these toxic drugs. The Psychs have also been losing hundreds of billions of dollars in Psych drug sales due to Scientology and so needed to find a quick way to make people insane enough to start gulping down Psych drugs by the truckload once again.

Therefore, the Nazi Psychs went to their go to guy when they want to induce large scale torture, panic, and rage. We here speak of Bill Gates and his team of Marcab implanters at Microsoft.

Microsoft’s answer to implant sudden, high speed, terror, grief, and madness into the world population is Windows 8.

Windows 8 causes computer users to freewheel through their implants. Millions of computers users have already died and millions more have plunged into alternating bouts of unconsciousness, rage, and sobbing.

Tens of millions of people are pouring into Scientology Ideal Orgs to get auditing for the massive Psych engram laid in by the diabolically evil Windows 8 implanting operation.

The nasty piece of Psych deviltry called Windows 8 is harder to uninstall than the Helatrobus implant. Windows 8 is certain to do only one thing, and that is to cause an immediate trillion dollar surge in the sale of Psych drugs for all of the victims of Window 8 who are experiencing panic attacks and are in fullblown restim on Windows Vista.

Wholetrack Psych Implanter Bill Gates has been declared a Suppressive Person for unleashing Window 8 upon the unsuspecting innocent citizens of the world.

For the love of all that is good and holy, we in RTC urge all persons globally to not fall prey to the lies and blandishments of Microsoft and foolishly purchase a Windows 8 laptop or desktop on Black Friday. Factually, no one should ever purchase any Windows product ever again until Microsoft is clubbed like a baby seal and releases a patch for Windows 8 that restores Windows 7 functionality.

We in RTC call for all copies of Windows 8 everywhere to be burned and its creators to be imprisoned for billions of years in boiling oil where the music of Celine Dion is played night and day without surcease.

We in RTC therefore declare Bill Gates, Microsoft, and Windows 8 to be Suppressive Persons.

We are certain that wogs will agree with we in RTC on this particular SP Declare!

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14 replies »

  2. We in Global Capitalism HQ expected that you would have come up with a better approach to the Windows 8 disaster than the Neanderthal “Windows 8 bad … club it into oblivion” strategy that you have adopted.

    Lord knows we are not big Microsoft fans around here, as we have profited on this by shorting Microsoft stock every time some crop of innocent new believers appears, brandishing an analysis of their financial ratios that shows that on a cash flow yield basis the stock is compellingly cheap. They’re always wrong, of course, just like the partner here who, on the introduction of the iPhone in early 1997, put on what he thought would be the pair trade of the century, shorting Apple at $95 and going long Microsoft at $33 (Apple is at $565 today and Microsoft is at $26). He got crushed both ways on that one, and I was able to help him meet the margin call by taking his three year old Gulfstream 500 off his hands for cheap in return for some ready cash. Fortunately, he “retired” soon after, so he never found out that my source of ready cash was a fast options trade on the opposite side of his brilliant analysis. But I digress…

    I would have expected you guys to have gone out of your way to push Scientology as the solution for Windows 8-addled consumers. Just like you guys offer the “Est repair rundown” to fix people who thought you guys had more to offer than that other cult, you could have offered the “Windows 8 Repair Rundown” to help people deal with the engrams implanted by the new, updated “mauve screen of death,” which is supposedly more pleasing to the eye than the old “blue screen of death” when the operating system falls apart and the computer locks up. That sort of quick thinking might have helped you with the abysmal “Fresh Meat” statistic that has been pegged at zero for who-knows-how-long.

    But on second thought, I probably shouldn’t suggest this, since our holding company, Big Pharma, Inc., is adding workers and going to three shifts and weekends to crank out more psych drugs by the ton. It’s going to be a very nice Christmas here at Global Capitalism HQ when all the profits from the big spike in Xanax sales start rolling in. We’re also expecting our distilleries and breweries to do fairly well, and we are looking for investment opportunities in Colorado and Washington, in the wake of their recent legislation to decriminalize pot. We’re already working with the attorneys to create a Global Ganja Growers subsidiary to manage our investments in that rapidly emerging market, and we’ve approached a Mr. Cheech Marin and a Mr. Thomas Chong, two noted experts in the field, to serve as our advisors.

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    • We in RTC are working on a Windows 8 Repair Rundown and urgently need donations to save the world from the impending and very deadly Windows 8 cliff.

      Only we in the Church of Scientology have the exact Tech needed to handle the Windows 8 implant which, as our research has found, is a Fifth Invader Force attack aimed at the computers of the world. Please donate urgently and generously so that you and your children will be safe from the coming apocalyptic doom.

      The solace of the Church of Scientology awaits you:

      If you need transportation, a Scientology church bus will come by your home to pick you up:

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  3. Do you advocating clubbing or killing enemies?

    Have you ever tried to influence a judge with gifts / favors / dates with celebrities?

    Have you threatened anyone with potential loss of salvation?

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  5. Knowledge Report

    There are numerous meat stick implanted Wog’s that continue to raise counter intention to Command intention of COB RTC David Miscavige. This is not ok- as “We are in a war man!!!!” RTC can only do its job, with your donations, and only while there is time! Update your IAS status today! There is no better gift for the holidays than to raise your IAS status for yourself or someone you love. Why waste your money on some MEST when you could help RTC and COB in their mission to keep us safe from Psychiatry, Wog’s, Big Pharma, Global Capitalism HQ, Entheta, and Independents. .

    This is true.

    Nocaseonpost

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  6. Thank you for this post. I have to say though, in my case Windows 8 caused the restimulation of an engram even further down the whole track: Windows ME! Is there any tech to solve this?

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