Needed: Sufficiently Terrifying OSA Agents

We in RTC have had to RPF several OSA Agents lately for failure to be sufficiently terrifying.

We are tired of having the Church of Scientology be the laughingstock of the internet. We in RTC want it like it was in the old days when wogs were sufficiently terrified of the Church of Scientology such that they left us alone.

Accordingly, things will change in 2013 as we in RTC unleash squadrons of sufficiently terrifying OSA Agents upon the Planet. We will bring back the old days where people quaked and shat their pants and ran away at the mere mention of the Church of Scientology.

What COB RTC David Miscavige wants and needs are OSA Agents who are sufficiently terrifying.

If you are sufficiently terrifying, can live on $11 per week plus free room and board, and enjoy threatening Church enemies,  then we in RTC want to talk to you. We have important work for you to do in handling wogs, dilettante, SP’s, and the internet.

This YT video will show you what sort of people and valences we in RTC are looking for in hardcore Church of Scientology OSA Agents:

6 responses to “Needed: Sufficiently Terrifying OSA Agents

  1. Hahahaha! I doubt you in RTC will EVER find badasses like that, but good luck. That was one hell of an awesome movie lineup! Thanks OT8.

  2. LMAO! Thanks for that, OTVIII. Especially Steven Segal. I’m curious, is Tom Cruise channeling COB in that scene from Tropic Thunder? Such well-articulated rage, with just the right emphasis on the f-word — he must have learned from the master.

    As for being sufficiently terrifying, I have frightened away a few OSA bots in my time… but I command a much higher rate of pay than is offered by you in the RTC. Big pharma still has the best compensation package in the mix, for all us watchers and critics. I’ll stick with that. ;)

  3. I still think pics of Co$ lawyers like Paquette and Kobrin are the scariest thing, followed by the “industry of death” museum and LRH’s yellow teeth.

  4. InTheNameOfXenu

    Listen, if you want terrifying OSA agents, the dwarf better kick up some serious cash. I mean he hired that super OTVIIII, John Allander to harass Marty Rathbun for 9 months. He got paid some serous dope. I’m willing to eat the flesh of SP’s, just pay me accordingly, ok?

  5. OT8isgrrr8, you have hit the nail on the head. RTC’s biggest problem is the current lack of fear among all wogs Lawyers, even Helen Kobrin, don’t strike fear into the hearts of men like they used to.

    Now, if you strap cameras to their heads and have them wear cool t shirts and send them after bitter apostates, you might have something. Oh wait, that was tried and it didn’t work out all that well. I guess you’ll have to outsource this to the Nation of Islam, big african american guys with bow ties should do the job. Of course, if I run into them I’ll just think Pee Wee Herman is working in the ‘hood.

  6. I’m surprised clips from the Squirrel Busters videos weren’t shown. Johnny boy is a scarey dude. Sorry to hear of your employee problems. Just can’t get good help these days. You’d think with the high unemployment folks would be banging down your door for $11 a week and free rice & beans.

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